Posted on 07/16/2026 5:02:00 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth issued a new order that any military member who is discovered to have low testosterone be immediately transferred to the Navy.
Hegseth initiated mandatory testosterone testing for all members of the armed forces, and any soldier whose numbers fall below the normal range will instantly be reassigned to the Navy and issued a dandy little sailor outfit.
"There are three possible results for your testosterone labs: high, normal, or welcome to the Navy," said Hegseth. "Let's trade in those fatigues for a cute hat and kerchief. Next stop, step up and get your monkeypox vaccine, sailor. Welcome aboard."
The Pentagon believed the new directive would strengthen other military branches while making the Navy even more spectacularly fabulous. "The showtunes that the Navy choir will be able to pull off by this time next year will be insane," said Navy Captain Mark Brennan. "We're talking Hello Dolly, The Music Man, everything. This is absolutely a win-win for the whole military."
At publishing time, Hegseth had agreed that after a year of testosterone infusion therapy, Navy members could apply for a transfer back to their previous branch.
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Another joke, then a true story....
Coast Guard wears short pants so they won’t get wet when the abandon ship.
On my first ship, Nimitz, I was up on “vulture’s row” watching recoveries (arrested landing) of the air wing. I noticed next to me an Air Force pilot. He was white as a sheet with fear, watching the “controlled crashes” of Navy aircraft on the deck.
Eyes roll.
“That perfectly describes the majority of your views on things. “
What specific views are you talking about?
Or, is your animus based on the fact that I’m as better man than you? Smarter, fitter and more capable with women.
Lol! Tell that to the Blue Angel pilots who buzz the fans at the beach in Florida! lol
Hey! I resemble that remark!
Just who does the Bee think is carrying most of the fight in the middle east against Iran!
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