Posted on 07/16/2026 5:02:00 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth issued a new order that any military member who is discovered to have low testosterone be immediately transferred to the Navy.
Hegseth initiated mandatory testosterone testing for all members of the armed forces, and any soldier whose numbers fall below the normal range will instantly be reassigned to the Navy and issued a dandy little sailor outfit.
"There are three possible results for your testosterone labs: high, normal, or welcome to the Navy," said Hegseth. "Let's trade in those fatigues for a cute hat and kerchief. Next stop, step up and get your monkeypox vaccine, sailor. Welcome aboard."
The Pentagon believed the new directive would strengthen other military branches while making the Navy even more spectacularly fabulous. "The showtunes that the Navy choir will be able to pull off by this time next year will be insane," said Navy Captain Mark Brennan. "We're talking Hello Dolly, The Music Man, everything. This is absolutely a win-win for the whole military."
At publishing time, Hegseth had agreed that after a year of testosterone infusion therapy, Navy members could apply for a transfer back to their previous branch.
“Come on now people make a stand....They wan’t you as a new recruit”
<<>> In The Navy, the song....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usQ5_u7myic
Babylon Bee is slipping. Shoulda said “…transferred to the Space Force.”
The Marine Corps is a department of the Navy…the Men’s Department.
Well done.
Jesse Kelly approves of this message.
Excellent and helpful. Thanks.
Of course. There has to be someone to date all those sailors.
Lighten up, Francis.
https://freerepublic.com/focus/chat/4388253/posts?page=15#15
ROTFL I almost bit on that headline. BB is good.
That perfectly describes the majority of your views on things.
>> This is offensive, not funny.
Oh I don’t know... I LOL’d, and I’m an erstwhile swabbie.
Then again, I’m not offended because I’m not insecure about my manhood, nor do I actually question the manhood of my shipmates back then, so there’s that.
>> This is offensive, not funny.
>> That perfectly describes the majority of [Mariner’s] views on things.
OK, whether or not offensive... THAT was FUNNY!
There’s a lot of joshing that goes back and forth between members of the different branches but it gets serious in warfare when all branches have to interlock and wokr together.
There’s a lot of kidding and mock insults but there’s a lot of serious respect for each other over the core mission, protect the country and defend the constitution.
>> There’s a lot of kidding and mock insults but there’s a lot of serious respect for each other over the core mission, protect the country and defend the constitution.
^^^^^^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^^^^^^
and for kidding & insult hour when the mission is accomplished, I have quite a few Marine and Army jokes stored up! :-))
So clever.
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