Posted on 11/22/2025 4:04:32 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum
LANSING, MI — Local mom Janet Fields has continued her decades-long tradition of making cranberry sauce for no one to eat.
Despite no one remotely considering touching the cranberry dish for the past thirty years of Thanksgiving dinner, Fields remains undeterred.
"Ope! Can't forget the cranberry sauce," said Fields as she began the feast preparations. "Wouldn't be Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce, you know. I love the color it adds to the table, it's so bright and festive. Mm, that smell! You know, I don't actually care for cranberry sauce myself, but it's part of the tradition and it's always gone the next day. Did you know cranberries have flavonoids?"
According to sources, no one in the Fields family has ever eaten a cranberry willingly. "I still do not know what cranberry sauce is made of, and I don't want to know," said Mark Fields. "There is something unholy about fruit that takes the shape of an aluminum can. Yet, there is something weirdly comforting about knowing it will always be there."
At publishing time, Fields had also set out some white turkey meat in case anyone preferred white meat.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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I’m holding out for the fruit cake.
I like the wat it schloops out of the can and has those festive rings...
Way...not wat...
Dang it...
Mrs. fidelis makes a cranberry sauce that over the years has become a Thanksgiving and Christmas favorite to the point she dare not show up at family gatherings without it. It’s always gets eaten up in a flash. Needless to say, it isn’t plain cranberry, but has lots of yummy ingredients. Our niece has learned the recipe to carry on the family tradition.
That’s our go-to cranberry sauce. Finally had the real thing but will stick with the nice smoothness of the jelled version.
I’ll gladly accept her cranberry sauce, as well as any turkey, white or not, that is left over. Just invite me over, I’ve got nothing else to do.
So true!
I make it with fresh cranberries, juice and zest of an orange and sugar. It’s delicious and almost everyone likes it. After we use it as a fruit sauce topping on yogurt, ice cream, etc. So easy to make.
Two peeps died in New England in the last few days due to cranberry bog equipment turning on them.
At publishing time, Fields had also set out some white turkey meat in case anyone preferred white meat.
I hated white meat at home. Then I found out the secret to cooking it: meat thermometer, especially one with an alarm. Turkey is not made 20% better by cooking it to 185° instead of 165°. I don't care if the table isn't ready yet or cousin Eddie is still an hour away. Get that bird out of the oven so the white meat will be juicy and tender.
I love homemade fruitcake. Make it October and begin infusing it with rum or brandy until Christmas. Yum!!
My wife has a similar recipe. So good.
“ I make it with fresh cranberries, juice and zest of an orange and sugar. It’s delicious and almost everyone likes it. ”
I make it the same way and only I eat it!
I don’t care, will keep making it
I cook my turkeys breast down, which helps with the flavor. Ruins the presentation though.
We never had it at our house. It was always about my mom’s stuffing and the mashed potatoes and gravy.
Yes. The stuff in a can is no comparison.
It is Known that any of "Dad's Cranberry Relish" that is left belongs to me.
There is nothing better then a dinner roll with turkey and cranberry relish stuffed inside with a side of stuffing and gravy.
Leftovers are my favorite Thanksgiving Day food.
Put it in a blender with lots of ice and some fine alcohol.
Surgeon General Warning:
Alcohol kills brain cells, but only the weak ones.
Add 3 tablespoons of Grand Mariner
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