Posted on 11/06/2025 9:24:21 AM PST by E. Pluribus Unum
https://babylonbee.com/news/mamdani-moves-mayors-office-under-childrens-hospital
NEW YORK CITY, NY — In his first official act as mayor-elect, Zohran Mamdani moved the mayor's office under a children's hospital.
The mayor's office had been located at New York City Hall since 1812, but Mamdani was determined to relocate it when he learned it wasn't strategically positioned behind human shields. "This place doesn't meet our needs for a headquarters," he said, seemingly unaware that it was not American practice to line the walls with sick children.
Voters were reportedly shocked to learn Mamdani had moved his office beneath a children's hospital, but were assured this was "perfectly normal" and "nothing to worry about."
"This is standard procedure," Mamdani said, visibly surprised by everyone's concern. "You always put your hideout underneath a place where no one would dare attack. It's a brilliant strategy that has been proven to be effective."
Mamdani is originally from Uganda, where a foreign terrorist organization known as the Allied Democratic Forces (ADF) operates. They avoid detection by blending into the community, a strategy Mamdani said has served him well in life. "Children are my future," he said, detailing his strategy. "As long as I'm surrounded by children, no one can touch me."
"The sicker the better," he added with a wink. "People feel too sorry for them to cause any trouble."
At publishing time, Zohran Mamdani replaced his security detail with small handicapped children.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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It’s gonna be a long and satire-filled four years.
ROTFLMFAO!!!
Go Bee!
Post of the day nomination. Right up there with the neon green safety suicide vests.
The new location is more amenable to tunneling, as well.
OK, that’s dark. LOL
Good ol punk from Times Square movie.
Seems appropriate
https://youtu.be/zCkNu9OxThc?si=3J4ElK4METdWgSzh
Because that’s where the tunnels are.
Isn’t that what Hamas did? Move their operatives and weapons caches into children’s spaces, hospitals, schools, etc?
Out of the park!!! A grand slam if there ever was one!!!
What? Not under an abortion clinic?
An embarrassment of riches. You’ll have to laugh at their failures , fools that they are.
Just the headline had me in chuckles. Thanks
No! It moves under a synagogue.
This wins the internet for the day. Too bad more than half the population is so totally ignorant they just would not get the humor in this.
“This wins the internet for the day. Too bad more than half the population is so totally ignorant they just would not get the humor in this.”
I totally agree. This is too funny.
Good morning, NYC
Half the people here don’t get it either.
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