Posted on 03/08/2025 11:13:38 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of an ongoing effort to lead America into a safer and more prosperous future, President Donald Trump announced on Friday the creation of a Strategic U.S. Hawk Tuah Coin Reserve.
The announcement came on the heels of Trump's previous order to create a similar reserve of Bitcoin, with sources saying Trump wanted to do the same for Hawk Tuah Coin to diversify the country's cryptocurrency portfolio.
"We are going to win bigly with the Hawk Tuah Coin," President Trump from the Oval Office. "America has the best memecoins in the whole world, and now our big, beautiful economy will be strengthened with this digital gold backing everything up. Digital gold, they call it. Everybody is calling it that."
The prominent meme coin, otherwise known as a $HAWK token, was launched in 2024 and quickly hit a $490 million market cap. $HAWK tokens were based upon the viral internet celebrity of the "Hawk Tuah Girl" Hailey Welch, who prominently promoted the coin to her followers before the token crashed within minutes of launching.
"We're not selling these Hawk Tuah coins like some dummy," Trump continued. "We are going to hold, hold, hold."
At publishing time, the Federal government was also looking into creating strategic reserves of other digital currencies, including Dogecoin, Shiba Inu, Pepe, and the gold rings from the Sonic the Hedgehog video games.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
America’s sweetheart.
Totally had me going for about 4 sentences …
The Bee sometimes posts a lame piece of satire.
This is not one of those times.
I’m leery of investing in Hawk Tuah coins.
I hear their value sucks and overall it’s a Hot Mess.
She’s cute and has a very good sense of humor.
She’s all hat, and no…er…never mind…
After being everywhere on social media, she really fell off of the face of the planet quickly.
Seriously, though what ever happened to her after her famous pump and dump crypto coin?
She's made a couple of podcast appearances pleading for forgiveness and that she was taken advantage of, not knowing how any of this crypto stuff works (honestly, I kinda believe her).
She's been laying low. Probably got her old job back at the spring factory in Belfast, TN.
Oh well. She had a fun ride! Lasted much longer than it should have.
America’s cultural arc, from Clara Bow, “The It Girl,” to what’s-her-face, “The Spit Girl.”
Back to the trailer park?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Hey, she can always put out a sex tape.
She has a dirty sense of humor. ‘Hawk Tuah’ is a euphemism for the sound of spitting out sperm after a bojo. That is why Babylon Bee used it as a hilarious name for a digital currency.
She never responded to my marriage proposal. I even sent footage showing my trailer house and jon boat. I don’t understand women nowadays.
Spit girl needs to just go away because her coin was fugazi and her claim to fame is stupid. She should be in jail.
That’s why they invented the expression “take the money and run”.
I thought it was a sound made for lubrication prior to the finale. But what do I know about it, I’ve been married for 28 years. The only hawk tuah sounds I hear are after the dogs eat grass.
Perfectly said.
Done with Babylon Bee. Lead editor wants to breed out the white people until we’re all the same colour bruwn. When asked if the same applies to Jews, he was blocked. Absolutely disgusting.
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