Posted on 07/01/2023 6:10:42 AM PDT by Twotone
It has been scientifically proven that it's impossible to know what women want (and we all know you can't question science). In fact, there is usually a vast discrepancy between what men think women want and what women actually want.
You don't have to despair, because The Babylon Bee is here to provide an invaluable translation to help give men an idea of what a woman really wants.
What you think she wants: The food she ordered.
What she actually wants: The food you ordered.
What you think she wants: A man who will listen to her.
What she actually wants: A man who will agree with her.
What you think she wants: Cuddle time.
What she actually wants: A body pillow.
What you think she wants: You to fix the leaky faucet this weekend.
What she actually wants: You to fix the leaky faucet when she asked you 3 years ago.
What you think she wants: Six pack.
What she actually wants: Dad bod.
What you think she wants: Passionate lovemaking.
What she actually wants: A back rub.
What you think she wants: A fun night out with you.
What she actually wants: A fun night out by herself in the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru.
What you think she wants: Lingerie.
What she actually wants: Bathrobe.
What you think she wants: Flowers.
What she actually wants: Tacos.
What you think she wants: A trip to the mall.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: A fancy dinner.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: A diamond ring.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: Ryan Reynolds.
What she actually wants: R.C. Sproul.
There you have it — what women really want, translated for your understanding. Be advised, the translations above are subject to change at any moment.
What you think she wants: A trip to the mall.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: A fancy dinner.
What she actually wants: A nap.
What you think she wants: A diamond ring.
What she actually wants: A nap.
Oh yes! Ordering pizza so I do not have to fix dinner is good too but the nap. Ah... the nap.
Yes, I know it is not even 10 am. I could still use a nap.
Sounds about right.
It is every woman’s fantasy to have three men at the same time. One doing the dishes, one moving the lawn, one bringing her a glass of wine while she reads her book.
What you think she wants: Your company while she shops.
What she really wants: your charge card, for you to drive like an Uber , and then you wait in the car.
Ask Mel Gibson he knows
I already do all 3 of those things for my wife.....not to mention make the coffee in the morning and cook breakfast if she wants it.......that’s how you stay married for 31 years.
That and putting God before everything. 👍
It doesn’t matter, get her what she really wants and there’s always something else.
That’s pretty spot on
Why would a woman want her husband to have a “dad bod”, while that same woman would find another very physically fit man more attractive and compliment him for it? This is a phenomenon I’ve repeatedly observed.
Amen
What she actually wants: A nap.
That one is definitely wrong.
Haha, you made everyone look up Sproul.
My man! Got that right.
“Why would a woman want her husband to have a “dad bod”,...”
It is important to her that you are unattractive to other women.
If a man does or says anything and a woman is not in the room, is it still wrong?
Gentlemen, here is some wisdom:
What we tell you we want is not what we want from you.
We just want you to be a man. The rest will follow.
Also, see my tagline.
RC Sproul? Try Jack Hibbs.
The only really true ones are the leaky faucet and the food you ordered is the food she wanted. 😉
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