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Panic Erupts On Delta Flight As Captain Of Female Crew Announces That 'Everything's Fine'
The Babylon Bee ^ | March 5, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 03/06/2023 9:58:58 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

U.S. — A scene of desperation and panic unfolded on a Delta Airlines flight after the captain of the all-female flight crew announced over the intercom that everything was fine.

"Sure, just go on doing whatever you want back there. It's fine," said Captain Savannah Ross with a sigh. "Why wouldn't it be fine?"

The cabin immediately broke into a cacophony of shrieks and prayers, with passengers desperately trying to message loved ones to say goodbye. "We keep asking, but they won't say what's wrong," said Danny Evans, who had managed to reach his wife's phone. "Whatever it is, it must be really bad. We're in trouble, babe."

Passengers continued begging the crew to know what was the matter, but were met with the silent treatment. At last, the Captain returned to the intercom only to say, "You wouldn't understand" — setting off a fresh wave of hysteria.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; everythingsfine; flightcrew; flying; manosphere; pilots; redpill; satire; women
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1 posted on 03/06/2023 9:58:58 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Almost got me 😏..........because it’s so damn Plausible. LOL!


2 posted on 03/06/2023 10:00:59 AM PST by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: V_TWIN

LOL, those people over there are absolultely insane!

Wonderfully so, though...:)


3 posted on 03/06/2023 10:03:30 AM PST by rlmorel ("If you think tough men are dangerous, just wait until you see what weak men are capable of." JBP)
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Now that is freakin’ funny…everything is fine!


4 posted on 03/06/2023 10:03:36 AM PST by dsrtsage ( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

LMAO… jeez, you got me. Hahahahahahaha!!!!


5 posted on 03/06/2023 10:03:58 AM PST by Caipirabob (Communists...Socialists...Fascists & AntiFa...Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

LOL. A good script for Airplane III with FJB running the control tower and little Peter Buttplug talking to the press about when he plans to fill the potholes in the runways.


6 posted on 03/06/2023 10:07:57 AM PST by FlingWingFlyer ("I may be a white boy but I'm not stupid". - FJB at Black "History" event. Tell 'em Jo Jo!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Were they really all women? How about the one’s who identify as one?


7 posted on 03/06/2023 10:08:13 AM PST by US_MilitaryRules (#PureBlood)
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To: US_MilitaryRules

Hahaha


8 posted on 03/06/2023 10:11:25 AM PST by Col Frank Slade
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
It always reminds me of that Far Side cartoon, which I won't post since Ted Larson has asked people not to post his cartoons...:)

In it, there is an exterior view of an airliner, and the pilot, visible in the cockpit is saying:

"The fuel light's on, Frank! We're all going to die! We're all going to die! Wait...wait...oh! My mistake! That's the intercom light!"

What really makes it funny is the bug-eyed looks on all the passengers looking out the portholes...:)

9 posted on 03/06/2023 10:13:22 AM PST by rlmorel ("If you think tough men are dangerous, just wait until you see what weak men are capable of." JBP)
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To: US_MilitaryRules
Were they really all women? How about the one’s who identify as one?

That would be the drag queen stewardess flouncing out of the cockpit telling passengers they're giving her a headache...

10 posted on 03/06/2023 10:25:20 AM PST by GOPJ ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muw22wTePqQ Gumballs: Immigrants by the numbers.)
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To: rlmorel

LOL

i still miss Larson...


11 posted on 03/06/2023 10:32:56 AM PST by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Waiting for someone to post the Kevin Bacon “remain calm” or Leslie Nielsen’s “ Everything is fine” nose-getting-longer photos 😁😆


12 posted on 03/06/2023 10:37:34 AM PST by SeekAndFind
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To: SkyDancer

Any comment, Janie? 😁


13 posted on 03/06/2023 10:48:44 AM PST by PROCON (Sic Semper Tyrannis)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

They will just tell the terrified passengers to “CALM DOWN!”
That always works😏


14 posted on 03/06/2023 10:49:38 AM PST by 9422WMR (45 1. Lie, cheat, steal. It’s how the democRATS operate. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
This Is Your Captain Speaking
15 posted on 03/06/2023 10:50:05 AM PST by Gay State Conservative (No Doubt Now: Stolen Election)
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To: PROCON

LOL Yeah, saw a meme on that.


16 posted on 03/06/2023 10:51:42 AM PST by SkyDancer (Hold on tight to your dream)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Dang! I’m usually pretty good at spotting the Bee, but it took me to the fourth paragraph before I said, “Wait a minute…” and checked the source. 😄🤦🏻‍♀️


17 posted on 03/06/2023 10:58:10 AM PST by Allegra
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To: Caipirabob

Got me too...

;)


18 posted on 03/06/2023 11:15:53 AM PST by Does so ("Who is Ray Epps?" should be overstamped on every piece of currency...)
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To: Caipirabob

Got me too...

;)


19 posted on 03/06/2023 11:15:55 AM PST by Does so ("Who is Ray Epps?" should be overstamped on every piece of currency...)
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To: Allegra
Me too, exactly that   LOL
20 posted on 03/06/2023 12:00:32 PM PST by tomkat (SOTU = FUBAR)
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