Study Confirms Everyone At Gym Is Watching You And Criticizing Your Form And Making Fun Of Those 10-Pound Dumbbells

The Babylon Bee ^ | March 4, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

U.S. — A new study has found that everyone at the gym is, in fact, watching you and laughing at your little sissy dumbbells.

"Our study concluded that the feeling you get of being watched at the gym is because everyone is snickering at how weak you are," said lead researcher Dr. Graham Hadwin. "People are actually mocking you so much more than you ever thought possible."

Men who lift weights have long sensed that all the other gym-goers were secretly laughing at their pathetic muscles and terrible form. "Just as I suspected," said local man Dan McMillan, upon hearing the study's results. "I could just feel the stifled chuckles every time I picked up my puny little barbells. The constant feeling of judgment for how much I sweat from just doing lunges - I knew it wasn't in my head."

According to sources, every athletic trainer and gym employee in the country is in on the joke. "We love to tell people to do high reps with low weight so we can laugh at how dumb you look with your girly little baby weights," said personal trainer Rod Evans. "Sometimes, all of us trainers get together for a beer after work just to laugh at you even more. No matter how much you think people are judging you, trust me - the truth is way worse."

At publishing time, the research team revealed that everyone is also watching out their windows when you jog around the neighborhood and laughing at how slow you are.

[Crusher138]

Just joined a Defined Fitness. It is one step above Planet Fitness. $40 a month, but they have a pool.

I go at 4:45am and am amazed at the crowds. About half the women are in full makeup. When I get there the place is two-thirds full. By the time I leave, they are at 90% capacity.

The male/female workout partners are fascinating. Nearly always one fat one, one thin one. The fat one always looks resentful. The thin ones looked supportive in January. This morning I noticed the thin ones are more resentful as the fat ones are still pretty fat.

While there is music playing (loudly) in the gym, no one is listening because - to a person - everyone is wearing some form of headphones or earphones.

Working out seems to be a much more solo activity than I remember from my youth. Most of those working out are doing so alone. I remember going to the gym with a friend nearly all the time and most people having spotters.

Women are doing a lot more free weights than I ever remember.

Other than the obvious couples, men and women do not interact at the gym. Gone are the days that the gym is a place to hook up, at least at 4:45am...

[gundog]

High rep/ low weight is good for toning and definition.

[Inspectorette]

laugh to myself at the $300 gym outfits on fat people. But…they are there.

Yes, they are there. I don't laugh at them, I feel that they're at least making an effort.

[minnesota_bound]

The amount of weights in directly proportional to er... something : )

[Mariner]

“High rep/ low weight” is to build muscle mass and endurance. Body builders live there. But it does little, if anything to build strength.

But, how low is low?

You should never be below 30% (some say 40%) of your 1 rep max. Unless there is a medical condition to be accounted for.

[House Atreides]

What a man!! 🤣🤣

[gundog]

Sez who?

[DainBramage]

Im a 63 year old retired firefighter. I ride gravel roads 130 miles and swim 4 miles a week. In between i lift 3 days. Often these are two a days to get it all in. I laugh at the bulked up guys who couldn’t do 20 minutes of cardio if it killed them.

[Mariner]

every sports trainer who ever lived

[gundog]

Who needs ‘em?

[suthener]

“I will never set foot in a Planet Fitness. Apparently, people who are making a real effort at getting stronger are not welcome there.”

Quick story: had to change gyms (I moved, gym shut down, I don’t remember), so I went to Gold’s. I did not know they were in the process of changing to Planet Fitness. I used a piece of equipment I really liked. Next time I went it was gone. I asked an attendant what happened to it. He said, and I quote, “oh, we took that out. Only body builders use that”. I said what are you going to do next, take out he squat rack? Without blinking an eye he said, “we’ll cancel your membership if you want to”. I cancelled and never went back.