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Study Confirms Everyone At Gym Is Watching You And Criticizing Your Form And Making Fun Of Those 10-Pound Dumbbells
The Babylon Bee ^ | March 4, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 03/06/2023 9:21:06 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

U.S. — A new study has found that everyone at the gym is, in fact, watching you and laughing at your little sissy dumbbells.

"Our study concluded that the feeling you get of being watched at the gym is because everyone is snickering at how weak you are," said lead researcher Dr. Graham Hadwin. "People are actually mocking you so much more than you ever thought possible."

Men who lift weights have long sensed that all the other gym-goers were secretly laughing at their pathetic muscles and terrible form. "Just as I suspected," said local man Dan McMillan, upon hearing the study's results. "I could just feel the stifled chuckles every time I picked up my puny little barbells. The constant feeling of judgment for how much I sweat from just doing lunges - I knew it wasn't in my head."

According to sources, every athletic trainer and gym employee in the country is in on the joke. "We love to tell people to do high reps with low weight so we can laugh at how dumb you look with your girly little baby weights," said personal trainer Rod Evans. "Sometimes, all of us trainers get together for a beer after work just to laugh at you even more. No matter how much you think people are judging you, trust me - the truth is way worse."

At publishing time, the research team revealed that everyone is also watching out their windows when you jog around the neighborhood and laughing at how slow you are.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Health/Medicine; Humor; Miscellaneous; Outdoors; Society
KEYWORDS: gyms; jogging; judgment; laughter; satire; slowness; weakness; workouts
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1 posted on 03/06/2023 9:21:06 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

2 posted on 03/06/2023 9:23:18 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

What’s wrong with 10 pound dumbells?..................


3 posted on 03/06/2023 9:23:19 AM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

ha ha!

4 posted on 03/06/2023 9:24:02 AM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: BenLurkin

20 seconds....


5 posted on 03/06/2023 9:24:40 AM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: Red Badger

This is satire, but if you’re serious, nothing. Just hold them out to your sides at arms length for an extended period of time.


6 posted on 03/06/2023 9:24:52 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
'Do You Even Lift, Bro?'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OloLS5kTrVs

7 posted on 03/06/2023 9:25:03 AM PST by T.B. Yoits
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To: BenLurkin

oops...44 seconds


8 posted on 03/06/2023 9:25:27 AM PST by Magnum44 (...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
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To: Red Badger
What’s wrong with 10 pound dumbells?..................

They're usually attached atop the necks of liberals.

9 posted on 03/06/2023 9:25:34 AM PST by IYAS9YAS (There are two kinds of people: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.)
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To: IYAS9YAS

LOL.


10 posted on 03/06/2023 9:26:23 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

That’s hilarious.

In the college weight room, as long as you were there…you never got made fun of. Today, I got to the gym in my old gym clothes and laugh to myself at the $300 gym outfits on fat people. But…they are there.


11 posted on 03/06/2023 9:26:34 AM PST by Vermont Lt
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

It would have been funnier had they used 2 or even 5 pounds................


12 posted on 03/06/2023 9:26:58 AM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while illegal aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: T.B. Yoits
Setting off the "Lunk Alarm" at Planet Fitness:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/GCBVvTG2DE4

13 posted on 03/06/2023 9:29:47 AM PST by T.B. Yoits
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To: BenLurkin

Hey! He almost got flying!

C’mon man!!!


14 posted on 03/06/2023 9:33:20 AM PST by SaveFerris (Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the days of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold ......)
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To: T.B. Yoits

That is so funny!!! Planet Fitness is for those that don’t really want to be around real weightlifting.


15 posted on 03/06/2023 9:38:21 AM PST by Codeflier (My voting days are over. Let it burn...give the people what they want good and hard.)
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To: T.B. Yoits

I will never set foot in a Planet Fitness. Apparently, people who are making a real effort at getting stronger are not welcome there.


16 posted on 03/06/2023 9:44:40 AM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (FBI out of Florida!)
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To: BenLurkin

Thanks. Saved me from having to look it up.


17 posted on 03/06/2023 9:53:18 AM PST by TangoLimaSierra (⭐⭐To the Left, The Truth is Right Wing Violence⭐⭐)
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To: Red Badger

10lb dumbbells are for girls.


18 posted on 03/06/2023 9:54:57 AM PST by Mariner (War Criminal #18)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I always suspected they were laughing at me. This just confirms it…


19 posted on 03/06/2023 10:14:38 AM PST by GaryCrow
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I will never set foot in a Planet Fitness. Apparently, people who are making a real effort at getting stronger are not welcome there.

~~~

I have heard that they have a grunt alarm.

I have lifted in places like World Gym in the past, and there were always a few of those annoying guys who grunted way too loud and long and they got made fun of because they would do it even when they weren’t lifting heavy, but on the flip side, I think it’s also stupid to shame people for pushing hard. Not everyone subscribes to the concept of lifting to failure, but most serious lifters do it.


20 posted on 03/06/2023 10:33:59 AM PST by z3n (Kakistocracy)
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