The tide tells Canut to pound sand.
Posted on 07/19/2022 12:24:16 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move this morning to address the nation's financial woes, President Biden has officially called on the American economy to stop being bad.
"Come on, economy!" said an impassioned President Biden. "Make everything cheaper! Give everyone more money! I hereby demand you stop being atrocious! Do it. Do it now!"
Pundits immediately lauded President Biden's brilliant plan, with MSNBC heralding it as the most transformative economic initiative since the New Deal. "Biden simply asking the economy to be better is nothing short of genius," said Rachel Maddow. "Economists are out there playing checkers, and Joe Biden is here playing chess, what with his clarion call to give everyone more money and make everything cheaper. Why has no one thought of this before?"
President Biden also took the opportunity to speak directly to the struggling stock market. "I know people who used to have money in their retirement accounts are frustrated — which is why today I am also calling on the stock market to go up. Just do it, ok? Just make the numbers bigger! Repeat line, end of speech!"
At publishing time, sources say inflation is still skyrocketing, a recession has begun, the stock market is still crashing, and it's all Putin's fault.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Bad economy, No biscuit!
I remember when the B used to be fiction.
better headline “Biden tells citizens to stop causing inflation”
LOL! Biden knows how to play “chest”, but I don’t think he can play chess anymore. Can he even tie his own shoes?
Come on, man.
No wonder President Retard is such a money grubbing crook he probably handles his own finances like our country’s 🤪
16 of his house Democrats just arrested.
I see his mistake; he just made a suggestion. What he should have done is issue an Executive Order to the economy.
If the economy is trying to make Slow Joe look bad, it’s obviously a Republican economy. Dang that Trump.
Lordy how I love The Bee
With Biden, when I see a title like this, I think to myself: “Maybe it’s from the Babylon Bee, maybe it isn’t.”
Satire with it’s toes hanging over the line.
This is truly how deep Biden’s understanding of economics is and the MSM absolutely would laud him as a genius if he issued this very proclamation.
Funny...Thanks Bee...
Reminds me of King Canut telling the tide to turn back...
Maybe he could issue an Executive Order demanding everyone be happy and get free electric cars.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.