We Asked 1,000 Christian Women What They Want In A Spouse - Here Are The Top Responses

The Babylon Bee ^ | June 30, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Are you a single loser? Are you also a man? Love scientists with The Babylon Bee talked with 1000 actual real-live women and uncovered ten things Christian women are looking for in a man. Only you have the power to mold yourself into the ultimate man and win her heart.

Consider embodying one of these amazing qualities:

1. Boaz: If you are Boaz then you can stop reading this list right now. MMM, Boaz...
2. A man with the body of Henry Cavil and the brains of C.S. Lewis: This is the whole package!
3. A believer in the patriarchy who will provide for her and free her from the shackles of corporate America: Also see, Boaz.
4. A guy who doesn't want to have sex with you and then murder the child: This is a pretty important one.
5. A godly man who loves kids and puppies and is over 6' tall and muscular and really tan with fertile seed: This is the kind of man who will give her the freedom to be in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant like she's always wanted.
6. A guy with a completed AWANA vest: The only way to know he's truly godly. Boaz had one of these.
7. A dude who never complains about casseroles: Bonus points for loving burnt meatloaf.
8. A man who will wake her up at 4 a.m. to read the King James Bible to her: NIV readers need not apply.
9. Somebody who can open pickle jars and reach things on high shelves: Better get jacked, nerds!
10. A guy who can fold a fitted sheet: Dreamy! Just like MyPillow Giza Dream Sheets.

[Sacajaweau]

No fold method....remove in AM...wash....replace before dinner.

[joshua c]

i dont buy fitted sheets

i buy them off the rack

[FamiliarFace]

Yes, I’m sure it was hard growing up for both our husbands with so many girls around them, but it sure helps in the marriage department.

My husband knows when to overlook my shortcomings, and when not to. I’d like to think I reciprocate the respect.

[heavy metal]

i don’t play hard to get...

i play hard to want...

[null and void]

One more fold than I do at the end, same basic technique on the corners. It seemed like the only way to do it.

[null and void]

Well played!

[Jamestown1630]

My husband had a very strong, positive father, and they were close pals; so I don’t think it was that hard for him. But growing up in a house so full of females certainly causes a young man to understand a lot about women.

[Mr. Lucky]

Not the Bee's best stuff...

Agreed.

[Jonty30]

They may not want to, but they do anyway. Bad boys have never had problems in getting into relationships, or seem to anyway.

[Gen.Blather]

“I failed at #10.
That’s an impossible task.”

They can’t be folded. Just wash it and put it back on the bed until it needs replacement. Problem solved and she’ll never know you can’t fold it. (She might suspect, but it got washed and put back and you paid for the replacement, so she’ll overlook that one defect.)

[MayflowerMadam]

“Totally lost here. Have no idea what AWANA is.”

Acronym for “All Workmen Are Not Ashamed” from II Timothy 2:15. It’s a marginally youth program most often in evangelical churches.

They have a great Bible memorization section as part of the program.

[MayflowerMadam]

Not “marginally”.. Primarily.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

They’ll respond to assholes and bad boys, but it’s as Jeff Foxworthy says, they’ll be the ones hanging out the doors of their trailer homes yelling for the police.

[Steve Van Doorn]

said, "Bad boys have never had problems in getting into relationships, or seem to anyway."

Because our society purges men or push's men to be more feminine.
"bad boys" at first glance seem like men which our society is lacking and women crave.

[Miguk]

TBH, I had to Google Boaz. So, wealthy, landowner, spongeworthy, and willing to accept the responsibility of "right of kinship." Check. Ah, BabylonBee, sometimes you get it right. Chad.

Hebrew Bible

The son of Salmon[7] and his wife Rahab,[8] Boaz was a wealthy landowner of Bethlehem in Judea, and relative of Elimelech, Naomi's late husband.[9] He notices Ruth, the widowed Moabite daughter-in-law of Naomi, a relative of his (see family tree), gleaning grain in his fields. He soon learns of the difficult circumstances her family is in and Ruth's loyalty to Naomi. In response, Boaz invites her to eat with him and his workers, as well as deliberately leaving grain for her to claim while keeping a protective eye on her.[10]
Ruth approaches Boaz and asks him to exercise his right of kinship and marry her. Boaz accepts, provided that another with a superior claim declines. Since the first son of Ruth and a kinsman of her late husband would be deemed the legal offspring of the decedent and heir to Elimelech, the other kinsman defers to Boaz.
In marrying Ruth, Boaz revives Elimelech's lineage, and the patrimony is secured to Naomi's family.
Their son was Obed, father of Jesse, and grandfather of David.
According to Josephus,[11] he lived at the time of Eli.

The Temple

"Boaz" was the name of the left one of the two frontal columns of Solomon's Temple, the other being "Jachin".[12][13] Its meaning is a subject of controversy.[14]

New Testament

Boaz is mentioned in the Gospel of Matthew as the son of Salmon and Rahab (seemingly Rahab of Jericho) and as an ancestor of Jesus.[8]

[Clemenza]

Yes, but bad boys wind up raiding the bank account or getting a restraining order per a life of observation. Bad boys may be good for a roll in the hay but that’s it.

As for me, I am neither bad ass or milquetoast - I just know what I’m doing.

[Jamestown1630]

I think women have always been a little intrigued with the ‘bad boys’, even before the wholesale feminization of men.

It’s just something in our nature - maybe part of the urge to nurture.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Women (girls? maybe go with people in general) are attracted to men with self confidence. When you are young or immature swagger can look an awful lot like self confidence. That is why “bad boys” attract both boys and girls as followers.

At least that is my theory.

We want a leader who knows what to do and will provide protection when needed. And if he has a few bad qualities we tend to overlook them.

Problem is that knowing if the self confidence and competence is real or fake.

You might be in the soup when the bad times come and the person you thought was going to be there wusses.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

Thanks. Never heard of it.

[Arcadian Empire]

When a woman tells female friends that she met a guy, they ask:

1.”Is he hot?”

2. “What does he do?”

The second question is a way of asking about money.