Posted on 05/13/2022 11:42:56 AM PDT by sodpoodle
You're An EXTREME Redneck When...
1) You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids
2) The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4) You think a woman who is out of your league, bowls on a different night.
5) You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6) Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9) Your junior prom offered day care.
10) You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11) You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13) You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14) One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15) You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17) You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!
I say you're some kind of retarded pinhead.
“Ukrop is usually said with extreme venom here”
I will bet people using that term have direct ties to Russia. Born there, lived there, of Russian heritage, family ties…or just plain Russian. FR is not just a grassroots conservatives site any more. There are all kinds of people here pushing their pet agendas, especially people who signed up in recent years.
👍👍👍😁
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
ROTFLMAO
You might be from Fresno if you try to kill spiders with a blowtorch:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FH9TdFx5j-8
Them are hillbillies aw right.
Particularly in Eureka Springs, AR
“Hold muh beer..” Most likely it is PBR.
“ Anti white isn’t funny. ”
No need to go Will Smith on us. It’s not anti white. It’s just humor and humor is often about exaggerating stereotypes. We make fun of every demographic group here - you name the group and we have done it. No reason for whites or rednecks to be off limits.
I'll do that right away, and DONATE too!
I love blogs, citizen journalism is the bestest ever!
If you can’t laugh at yourself..../\
I can , and often do.
But for humor to be funny it has to be true
and only a prog would think any of that crap is true.
It has the stink of prog slander all over it.
Like something one would hear in the faculty lounge in any college.
How did the redneck die drinking milk?
The cow kicked him.
Have you been to a Wal-Mart lately??
Good grief. Humor is always an exaggeration - and always contains some truth.
“But for humor to be funny it has to be true”
Where is that written, in the liberal rules for comedy?
I guess you really don’t like satire, like the Babylon Bee.
What’s a UKROP?
My brother-in-law used to drink that crap. I don’t know what they put in it.😝
A father in Arkansas takes his daughter to the doctor. He says, “Doc, this girl needs to be fitted for a diaphragm” The doctor loos at the charts and says, “Sir, she is 12 years old. Is she sexually active?” “The guy responds, “Naw, she just lays there like her mother does.”
Q: where was the toothbrush invented?
A: not really sure. But it had to be Arkansas. If it were any place else, it would be called a toothbrush. 🙃
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