German arm-wrestling champ.
Posted on 03/28/2022 2:01:32 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
PHILADELPHIA, PA—Champion swimmer Lia Thomas (she/her) is constantly being asked by her teammates to open pickle jars, and it's reportedly causing a great deal of confusion. Thomas reports she has never been more distracted.
"I'm a teeny-tiny woman," said Thomas while effortlessly opening a pickle jar. "I don't know why they keep asking me to open these things. It's not like I'm biologically predisposed to being stronger."
"Lia, darling, can you open this jar of Vlasic for me?" asked teammate Annabelle Humphrey. "They say it's the tastiest pickle you've ever had and I've just gotta' know!"
Thomas has reportedly been confused, not only by the fact a weak and timid woman keeps having to open pickle jars but also by her team's sudden obsession with pickles.
"They don't taste that good," Thomas said. "I'm opening a dozen pickle jars a day. It's ridiculous."
Lia Thomas's swim game has been negatively impacted by the constant pickle distraction. Her last freestyle competition had her come in a full half-second slower than previously.
Her coach was distraught. "Lia almost won by less than 3 seconds. Embarrassing!"
Sources confirm she's also been asked to reach items from high shelves and clear backed-up toilets.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
ROTFLMCFASHWUAO!! Way ta go, Bee!
These people are unbelievable with their brilliance.
“Lia” should also be asked to take out the trash, mow the lawn, and shovel the snow.
He’ll know the jig is up when they ask him to kill spiders.
I’ve never understood the female fear of spiders.
I hear they also keep asking “her” to put the seat down on the toilet.
A mouse in the locker room would be hilarious.
This guy doesn’t even try to look female.
He’s got to be laughing his you know what off.
And, write 'her' name in it.
I believe that I read in a recent interview with one of ‘her’ Team stated: “Lia makes a damn good samimch.”
Lol! In big yellow letters.
Doesn't have to... the MSM does that for... er... it. With airbrushing and photoshopping.
Can he still parallel park?
Thomas, as of a week ago has not had his male genitalia removed. The surgery he had was to add breasts. They are asking him to open pickle jars to get pickles out. And he is too stupid to see the baiting and attempted vindictive inference. They want the pickle out of the jar (team). And he is the person to open the jar because he is biologically stronger than they are.
wy69
How about getting rid of spiders and rodents?
Real life its more like “Champion swimmer Lia Thomas (she/her) is constantly being asked by her teammates to cover the pickle with a towel...”
They were asking, "Will you cut off your pickle and keep it in a jar"?
German arm-wrestling champ.
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