Posted on 12/04/2021 2:15:49 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
TALLAHASSEE, FL —Florida Governor Ron DeSantis stirred up controversy this week after he proposed allocating state funds to grow his own personal army of Uruk-Hai orc warriors.
"Frankly, the federal government is terrible at everything, including the Army, which has been taken over by wimpy-dimpy pink-haired SJWs," said DeSantis. "It's time for Florida to breed its own Uruk-Hai force."
DeSantis touted the many uses of a personal Uruk-Hai army, such as helping with hurricane relief, monitoring the polls on election day, and making sure public schools aren't making kids wear masks.
"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed every CNN anchor while breaking the story and running in circles with their hair on fire.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Thanks... The Bee is the only ‘paper’ I read regularly... 🤓
Of course it is. The same people complaining about DeSantis starting his own Praetorian Guard — or whatever the talking point of the day is — won’t lift a finger to stop the forces in New York or California.
Between Haitians and Cubans he has a standing army of ready and willing Patriots.
Who needs Uruk-Hai when the Everglades are full of Ents???
Can't rely on them. By the time they arrive at a consensus the Yankees will have already moved in and put up a shopping mall.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.