Kyle Rittenhouse Asked To Step Outside And Defend The Courthouse While Verdict Is Being Read

Babylon Bee ^ | 11/16/2021 | Babylon Bee

[shotgun]

KENOSHA, WI—Moments before reading the verdict, the twelve jurors in the trial of Kyle Rittenhouse asked if the defendant would please step outside and defend the courthouse.

“We, the jury will perform our constitutional duty and declare the verdict in this case,” said one sweating juror, “But we, the jury also don’t want to die.”

“Objection, your honor, Rittenhouse does not possess an AR-15 to defend the courthouse; I have the AR-15,” said the prosecutor, swinging the weapon wildly about as onlookers nervously ducked behind benches. “Besides, protestors are heroes, people of upstanding character, and victims.”

[Tell It Right]

Reading the Bee is funnier than watching Hillary trying to walk. LOL

[JudyinCanada]

These people get funnier with every passing day.

[toddausauras]

Damn that is good

[BushCountry]

I didn’t see it was the Bee at first. Needs satire tag.

From the headline I thought anything could be possible in a liberal city and some weird law or something I didn’t understand was in play.

[1Old Pro]

the prosecutor, swinging the weapon wildly about as onlookers nervously ducked behind benches.

Binger is such a loser liberal.

[Psalm 73]

"...I have the AR-15,” said the prosecutor, swinging the weapon wildly about as onlookers nervously ducked behind benches."

First thing I thought of when I saw the pic of him with his finger on the trigger.

[Magnum44]

Thats funny right there!

[Seruzawa]

[Rumierules]

Haha. If he is found not guilty, does he get his AR-15 and 22 bullets back that day?

[teeman8r]

hehehe

if i were kyle, i would sue the surviving punk for the cost of the bullet he had me waste.

[TribalPrincess2U]

It has a tag, Babylon Bee! Everyone here knows it’s satire.
Keep up!

[Boogieman]

No, because it’s not his AR-15, it belongs to Dominic Black, but he would probably not get it back either, since Binger is prosecuting him for being a “straw purchaser” of the weapon, so it’s probably evidence in that case as well.

[shotgun]

I would think he should

[DrewsMum]

That is NOT what those laws are intended for!

Malicious prosecution once again

[peggybac]

EXCELLENT!

[Chode]

DAMN the BEE!!! /snort

[JusPasenThru]

Aww damn…

[Rappini]

I can’t believe the Judge hasn’t tossed this case.

[Billthedrill]

Had to double-check the source when it got to the prosecutor swinging the rifle around with his finger on the trigger because that actually happened. Makes you wonder what would have happened if he’d had a negligent discharge inside the courtroom because he didn’t bother to check it either and probably doesn’t know how.