Secret Service Puts Finishing Touches on Biden's Presidential Scooter

The Babylon Bee ^ | 12/03/20 | The Babylon Bee

[Pining_4_TX]

WASHINGTON, D.C.—As part of the transition to a new administration, the Secret Service is working hard to make the White House safe and secure for the incoming 78-year-old president. One of the most important pieces of hardware in the White House will be Biden's presidential scooter, affectionately dubbed "Chair Force One."

"This will be one of the most advanced pieces of geriatric technology the world has ever seen," said Secret Service Director James Murray. "With the ability to go from 0 to 3 miles per hour in 12 seconds, it will completely encase Mr. Biden in a shell of bulletproof glass as he sits in the back seat and a trained agent drives him around. It's also equipped with Life Alert technology and a handy basket for his daily meds."

Sources say the technological marvel of handicap design will also have built-in teleprompters to help Biden know what words he's supposed to say next during everyday conversation.

[Ciaphas Cain]

If worse comes to worst, the Biden years are going to be a BONANZA of humor material for the Babylon Bee.

[ETL]

[Bonemaker]

[bitt]

p

[FatherofFive]

Chair Force One!

[ETL]

[Steve Van Doorn]

You got me. I was reading this as though it was real. ha

[ETL]

[ETL]

Lol!
Good one.

[MtnClimber]

Aahhhhh, the old shock collar in the necktie trick. That is the third time I have seen that this week.

[ETL]

[Pontiac]

Aahhhhh, the old shock collar in the necktie trick.

[ETL]

I truly apologize for "drifting". I don't know what's come over me!

[MtnClimber]

Very good!

[Candor7]

I thought Scooter Libby was the only one who was allowed.

[Orosius]

First Rascal Of The United States.

[FatherofFive]

Lol! Good one.

Would love to take credit for it, but it was in the article

[Candor7]

[Fledermaus]

Now that is damn funny.

One for yes, two for no.

[ETL]