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Gracious Trump Suggests Delaying Election Until Dems Find A Candidate Who Can Form Coherent Sentences
Babylon Bee ^ | 07/31/2020 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/31/2020 4:58:41 PM PDT by BipolarBob

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump, always desiring to be gracious and fair, suggested delaying the election yesterday until the Dems can find a candidate who can form complete, coherent sentences.

"Look, I want this to be fair," Trump said. "Why don't we push this thing off six months or so? That will give the Dems plenty of time to try to find someone who can go toe to toe with me. It won't be easy. There aren't many. But I'm sure they can find a worthy opponent for me to beat."

Trump was praised for the graciousness and compassion of the move.

"I disagree with Trump on everything, but this was really nice of him," said a DNC spokesperson. "We're going back to the drawing board and trying to find someone who can talk and think and all those qualities you really want in a leader."

The Democrats did manage to locate a few candidates who can string sentences together, but sadly they were all accused of sexual assault, so Trump agreed to give them another six months.


TOPICS: Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; bidementia; humor; satire
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Unprecedented breaking news. Never has a candidate been so accommodating to another political party. When it became obvious Joe Biden will never be able to survive a debate on live tv without cue cards, Trump took a hit for the country once again.
1 posted on 07/31/2020 4:58:41 PM PDT by BipolarBob
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To: BipolarBob

Talk about stupid.


2 posted on 07/31/2020 5:00:51 PM PDT by DIRTYSECRET (urope. Why do they put up with this.)
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To: BipolarBob
I like it.
3 posted on 07/31/2020 5:04:05 PM PDT by RoosterRedux
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To: BipolarBob

Weekend coming up

He just may very well tweet something like this


4 posted on 07/31/2020 5:04:26 PM PDT by digger48
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To: BipolarBob

LOL


5 posted on 07/31/2020 5:05:06 PM PDT by Magnum44 (My comprehensive terrorism plan: Hunt them down and kill them.)
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To: BipolarBob

Lol! Good one Babylon Bee! Trump likes a challenge, beating Biden in a debate is like beating up a paraplegic. You might win really easy, but you don’t feel proud of it.


6 posted on 07/31/2020 5:06:57 PM PDT by apillar
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To: BipolarBob

...also more time to find a vice-presidential running mate who’s actually qualified to be veep.


7 posted on 07/31/2020 5:07:59 PM PDT by who_would_fardels_bear
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To: BipolarBob

We have such a considerate president!


8 posted on 07/31/2020 5:09:10 PM PDT by SamAdams76
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To: BipolarBob

AOC is very good at stringing words together, and it takes a person several seconds at least to discover how nonsensical the result is. That’s long enough to make it through a debate.


9 posted on 07/31/2020 5:09:41 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: BipolarBob

Obama was also a Master of the Sentence when his Teleprompter broke


10 posted on 07/31/2020 5:10:20 PM PDT by butlerweave
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To: BipolarBob

Nice touch.


11 posted on 07/31/2020 5:11:51 PM PDT by madison10
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To: apillar

What if Biden is doing the greatest Rope a Dope in world history. He shocks the universe with two complete sentences. Donald gets the Apple and is speechless gasping for air. You can hear a mic drop across the country. Forget about it that’s crazy talk. In a way its crazy talk but if Joe can string together a couple of sentences it might look like victory because the bar was lying on the ground. Maybe we should start pumping Joey up just in case the impossible happens.


12 posted on 07/31/2020 5:30:43 PM PDT by magua (It's not racism, it's just that thisBecause itÂ’s being reported that a lot of this started in 2015.)
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To: BipolarBob

I love the Babylon Bee. More accurate.


13 posted on 07/31/2020 5:43:06 PM PDT by SkyDancer (~ Pilots: Looking Down On People Since 1903 ~)
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To: magua
What if Biden is doing the greatest Rope a Dope in world history. He shocks the universe with two complete sentences. Donald gets the Apple and is speechless gasping for air. You can hear a mic drop across the country. Forget about it that’s crazy talk. In a way its crazy talk but if Joe can string together a couple of sentences it might look like victory because the bar was lying on the ground. Maybe we should start pumping Joey up just in case the impossible happens.

That's true. As much as I enjoy making fun of Biden. If we push the dementia angle and "he can't speak a complete sentence" line too much. Then he goes and puts on a passable performance and manages to make it 90 minutes with only a couple minor gaffs, then he may be perceived by many as the winner simply because they were expecting him to be a complete train wreck and he beat the odds by being merely average.

14 posted on 07/31/2020 5:48:03 PM PDT by apillar
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To: BipolarBob

The Babylon Bee - Tomorrow’s News Today

I just knew it was them when I read the headline.


15 posted on 07/31/2020 6:03:17 PM PDT by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
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To: All

... “candidate can form coherent sentence ...” ...

So no election until 2024 then?


16 posted on 07/31/2020 6:03:18 PM PDT by Peter ODonnell (Pray for health, economic recovery, and justice.)
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To: apillar

The ‘rats will demand that the debates be done in Ebonics.


17 posted on 07/31/2020 6:18:53 PM PDT by reg45 (Barack 0bama: Gone but not forgiven.)
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To: BipolarBob

Nice gesture but a waste of time. The Dems don’t have anyone like that.


18 posted on 07/31/2020 6:21:58 PM PDT by TigersEye (Covid is over. We have been conditioned by it. The Cultural Revolution has begun.)
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To: BipolarBob

LOL!? Of course it makes sense for Joe Bee. He’s dirty. He’s inarticulate. He’s a dog-faced pony soldier.


19 posted on 07/31/2020 7:34:09 PM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?)
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To: PGalt

He also is the creator of the AR-14.

https://palmettostatearmory.com/psa-angryjoe-14-ar-14-stripped-lower-receiver-preorder-item-8-10-weeks-delivery.html


20 posted on 07/31/2020 8:50:13 PM PDT by Disambiguator
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