Posted on 06/20/2019 10:03:45 AM PDT by Responsibility2nd
“My boyfriend can’t get over how many people I’ve slept with. I shouldn’t have told him, but he pressed me for the info. He was 'nerdy’ for most of high school and college, and just started coming into his own in his mid to late 20s. I have been dating consistently for years, and have had my fair share of hookups and relationships. And while I don’t think my number is crazy at all, he can’t deal with the discrepancy. We’ve been dating for two years and we’re serious. I don’t want to break up. How can I handle this?”
I agree that you probably shouldn’t have told him, but lots of people fall into the trap of discussing their sexual history with their current partner, and I get it. If you trust someone, it’s natural to want to talk about what you’ve learned from past relationships and sexual experiences. That said, numbers really aren’t necessary, and rarely do anything aside from making one person feel bad.
But you can’t go back, and his reaction may have provoked an important conversation. After all (and as you well know), this isn’t an issue of who has slept with more people. It’s about his comfort with his past, and it’s about both of you establishing that your needs are being met by this relationship.
First, you have to figure out the problem you’re tackling, because it will change the course of action.
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
“Ask your boyfriend what he rationally believes: “Do you think my sexual number defines me?” I’m guessing that hearing how crazy that sounds might provoke an honest conversation about where his actual insecurity lies”
While that number may not define you, it does tell us a GREAT deal about you and NO, it’s not crazy sounding. And it is not his insecurity that is the problem here, but thanks for the revealing run at that.
She has “been there...done that”, 9 times with variations. If the guy doesn’t care about that...he certainly doesn’t care about her.
Walk away. Find someone with similar sexual morals...and numbers.
“I’ve been afflicted with a plague of eligible 40-something women looking for husbands and families. Puts me in the unfortunate position of having to explain that it’s just plain dangerous to start bearing children at that age and that their ship has sailed.”
My wife had our first child at 42 and our second at 46. Both kids have all their fingers & toes and are perfectly healthy.
That’s the number she gave you. It is likely not the number in reality.
The ancient Israelites had a similar practice: see Deuteronomy 22.15 and 17 (”tokens of virginity”).
Start making plans for dude #143. His reaction told you to move along. lol Double standard yes, but guys look for a woman who is discerning and trustworthy.
File this under, don’t ask a question you may not like the answer to. How many, is clearly that type of question.
He’s obviously going to continue to obsess over it and it will always be an impediment to their happiness. Best move along instead of wasting each other’s time
> What percent of women between 18 and 25 have all three attributes? Have two? Have just one?
Far fewer than there should be. It should be the norm.
I believe young people were more sexually active 100 years ago than they are today.
Today it is more talk and they watch more porn than doing a real thing.
Maybe they were getting married virgins in 1800s but that times gone by 1920s
That is so true. Men have to chase women. Women don't have to chase men.
The number of a woman's "partners" has nothing at all to do with her appearance or popularity. Her number of partners simply indicates the number of times she was willing.
If the number is high, Lie.
If you are asked “Where did you learn that”, tell them you read a lot.
Why do we have to explain this stuff?
Yeah I heard those retirement villages in Fla are std infested. ...some say the most in the country.
Hook up meant, we will meet and discuss this later.
It did not mean we will do it in my car.
You’re going to love the 19th century.
Seriously? I didn’t marry until I was 35. Was engaged once. Didn’t work out. I was faithful to every guy I dated, whether I slept with them or not. And no, I was far far from being a slut. Was I supposed to sit in my house and wait for a virginal man to drop through the ceiling?
When I met my husband, it was like a bolt of lightening hit me. I knew within one week I would marry him. Coming up on 20 strong years. Today we both laugh about our past relationships.
Lighten up Francis. If a guy wants a tat free, debt free virgin, he’d better bring the same to the table. Period.
We used to say that even the ugly girls knew whether or not they were getting laid before they went out.
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