Posted on 11/03/2016 10:29:32 AM PDT by Gamecock
Meet Joshua Ivy.
The 27-year-old Tennessee man--nude and carrying an unopened can of Coors Light--was arrested early Friday after residents of a Florida beach community called 911 to report “a naked white male banging on their windows and doors.”
When police arrived at a condominium complex in Santa Rosa Beach, they discovered Ivy was “completely naked and appeared extremely intoxicated.” Ivy, whose speech was slurred, could not recall how much booze he had consumed, where he was staying, or how he had gotten to the Grand Isle Condominiums.
But he did have an explanation for why he was pounding on doors. Ivy, a police report notes, said that he was “searching for someone to have sexual intercourse with.”
Ivy’s 3:30 AM quest, however, ended only with his arrest for disorderly intoxication. He spent about five hours in custody before posting $1000 bond on the misdemeanor charge.
Police found Ivy’s clothing in the condo parking lot.
A little while back, there was a naked fat black woman doing stuff in public, IIRC.
D’oh! Less than a minute!
Arrested? What’s there to grab?
A whole foot? Woof!
As I guy I can assure you there is one place, but I doubt most cops would do so, without gloves anyway.
Light beer?
They do say the key is persistence...
Since I did not drink in collage I ended up being the designated driver on many a Friday night. Oh, the stories I could tell.
A hooker would have been cheaper than court costs.
“Banging on their windows and doors”
I must have been absent when this came up in the Sex Ed class.
Oh, how I would have liked to ask Mr. C about this in the Sex Ed class.
“Mister C, I read this article about a guy in Florida banging windows and doors. Exactly how does this work?”
“Get your behind right on down to the Principal’s office, blueunicorn6, you smart ass.”
Trolling huh? Shoulda went to the local retirement community where the old broads have been fantasizing about this for a long time.
Nearly 50 years ago I went out to Santa Rosa Beach with my Dad when he was working on a cottage out there. Not a lot there and passed almost no houses on the way to the place we were going. It was just dirt roads through pine trees, and then a lane through the sand dunes. Panama City west to Destin and Pensacola is a mess now, with high rise condos blocking out the view of the wate they’re so close together.
Naked, drunk and knocking on doors asking for sex is no way to go through life, son.
Trappist monk?
So you’re saying you’re the strong **silent** type. 8^}
That was my first thought.
That’s the 30A area, which is a reasonably upscale place. I’d expect this sort of thing in Panama City Beach, say.
Not a Florida Man, but a man in Florida. The Floridians are probably glad for that.
But then he would have to weigh the cost of court compared to the cost of curing whatever he caught from the hooker. Especially if his healthcare premium and deductible is increasing. Whoda thunk Obamacare would lead to this?
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.