Posted on 11/03/2016 10:29:32 AM PDT by Gamecock
Meet Joshua Ivy.
The 27-year-old Tennessee man--nude and carrying an unopened can of Coors Light--was arrested early Friday after residents of a Florida beach community called 911 to report “a naked white male banging on their windows and doors.”
When police arrived at a condominium complex in Santa Rosa Beach, they discovered Ivy was “completely naked and appeared extremely intoxicated.” Ivy, whose speech was slurred, could not recall how much booze he had consumed, where he was staying, or how he had gotten to the Grand Isle Condominiums.
But he did have an explanation for why he was pounding on doors. Ivy, a police report notes, said that he was “searching for someone to have sexual intercourse with.”
Ivy’s 3:30 AM quest, however, ended only with his arrest for disorderly intoxication. He spent about five hours in custody before posting $1000 bond on the misdemeanor charge.
Police found Ivy’s clothing in the condo parking lot.
Naked, drunk and knock on doors asking for sex?
I never thought of that method.
What?
Is it Friday night already?
He’ll find a partner for sure now.
We really need to reopen insane asylums again. There are too many crazies walking around out there.
And we have enough to worry about trying to keep them from being elected (or re-elected).
Yeah remember when the pushy salesman just want to push his “foot” in the door?
Should have tried a Bud Light.
Well... he kind of got it backwards. Alcohol helps get sex, but only if it is the OTHER person doing most of the drinking, LOL.
“Santa Rosa Beach”
Ah yes, the Florida panhandle..AKA the “redneck Riviera”.
Rocket scientists everywhere...?
The key to solving this mystery is the “unopened can of Coors Light”.
This generous guy was willing to give some girl a whole can of beer for some sex.
“Hey, baby! Wanna see the Silver Bullet?”
If he could put his “foot” in the door, I’m thinking he wouldn’t have much trouble finding a willing sex partner. I was wondering just how he had lost her.
Well, that's OK then. I don't actually think that's how it's done, even these days, but given that I have the sex life of a Trappist monk I'm probably not the best reference...
Should read: “Drunk, Naked Guy Searching For Sex Partner Finds One Behind Bars,”
well, its straight forward and honest....refreshingly simple...
I thought Wiener was in rehab.
Must have worked on previous occasions.
Yeah, but who among us hasn’t been arrested at least once for getting drunk and getting nakie and stumbling around with an unopened can of beer, pounding on windows and doors of houses of people you don’t know while screaming for someone to come out and give you some nookie?
Raise your hands.
Yeah, just as I thought.
That’s no way to go through life.
“Naked, drunk and knocking on doors asking for sex is no way to spend your life, Son!” ~ Dean Wormer
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