Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Candid discussion about discrimination: I'm a velociraptor in a wool suit! [Vanity]
1/16/2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 01/16/2012 1:48:07 PM PST by Lazamataz

ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races.

But I wish to speak of the unsung heros of the Civil Rights movement: Velociraptors.

I, as a velociraptor in a wool suit, have experienced HORRIFIC discrimination since the day I first poked my snout out of the stout eggshell that served as my womb.

The level of discrimination a dromaeosaurid theropod dinosaur from the Cretaceous faces, is unreal. Hell, I walk onto a MARTA train ...and everyone screams and runs, and MARTA police are ALWAYS shooting at me.

Good thing I hunt in packs. If not for my friends, the cops would have gotten me a long time ago.

And as far as jobs?? FORGET IT. Let's leave aside the fact that I usually devour the interviewer in the first 30 seconds, shall we? The fact remains: I *NEVER* GET THE OFFER.

Housing is impossible to acquire for a 'raptor. Every time I fill out a lease, it's always the same 'stereotypical' questions: "Have you eaten any of your neighbors?" This is not even considered a discriminatory question under the Fair Housing Act, yet it is clearly directed at those of us of the Thunder Lizard Persuasion.

Because of the housing discrimination I face, I must live in the woods, and as you can imagine, there are far fewer people to eat there. Location, for a velociraptor, is everything.

Is there any federal aid available for us? I should think not. NOT ONE BILL in the last 100 Congresses have been written to address the special difficulties faced by velociraptors in wool suits. Hell, I cannot even enter a federal building without the National Guard being called, and this -- obviously -- prevents me from obtaining scholorships, Welfare, or even Food Stamps.

And we marched, back in the 1960's, right alongside the Ray Innis' and the Jesse Jacksons' and the Martin Luther Kings'. We were leaping on police detachments with 20-foot vertical leaps, tearing heads from bodies, and disemboweling police with a single swipe of our vicious claws. Yet are we given ANY credit for helping minorities have a voice in America?

We need to talk about the discrimination shown towards velociraptors in wool suits. I hope this article can open that dialogue.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cheese; discrimination; equality; mlk; thatsraaaaaaaaaacist; velociraptors
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101-120 next last
To: Lazamataz

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/philosoraptor/photos


21 posted on 01/16/2012 2:06:07 PM PST by Keith in Iowa (Willard Romney, purveyor of the world's finest bullmit. | FR Class of 1998 |)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor in a wool suit (moi)?

Most assuredly. That pipe. Put. It. Down!

22 posted on 01/16/2012 2:07:00 PM PST by houeto ("Click Free or Die!" -Travis McGee)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Let's face it, discrimination is tough for all of us non-mammilian species.

I was just trying to operate a nice delivery service for well-wishers -- flowers, balloons, and of course, assorted candies.

But that all was ruined by the blatant discrimination and landsharkophobia, personified and made mainstream by those evil haters at Saturday Night Live. After their stereotypical treatment of my business, I couldn't buy a delivery anymore. Soon as was living in the gutter puddles, eating scraps of discarded food and the random toad.

Worse was the derogatory way my name was used. Imagine how you would feel if your name was forever associated with crappy, past-it's-time TV shows. "Jump the Shark" indeed. I'd like to see someone try to jump me. Really. Please. I am so lonely. Getting mugged would be a step up.

23 posted on 01/16/2012 2:07:15 PM PST by CharlesWayneCT
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Quit the smoking. You've got a three-chambered heart, fer chrissakes!


24 posted on 01/16/2012 2:07:58 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

“ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races.

Yada yada yada.

Nope, sorry, don’t wanna’ hear it. President: black guy, Att general: black guy. Stfu and get a life!


25 posted on 01/16/2012 2:08:09 PM PST by TalBlack ( Evil doesn't have a day job.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor in a wool suit

Go for the pin stripe look.

Wimmin really go for velos in pin stripes on MLK day..........they solve sexism

26 posted on 01/16/2012 2:08:18 PM PST by Lakeshark
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: humblegunner
So many young people these days are unaware of the epic struggles and hard battles fought by Raptors for the most basic rights supposedly afforded to all of us, both Raptor and non-Raptor alike. Personally I'm sickened by the apathy shown toward Raptor issues, studies, services and basic recognition. It's a freakin' genocide.

PRECISELY! Every time we are encountered, the discussion revolves around our extermination -- never on how to help us.

This is the exact dialogue I was hoping to open. Thank you, from this particular Theropod-American. (hat tip to denydenydeny who has coined this wonderful phrase).

27 posted on 01/16/2012 2:08:55 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

One other thing, just to be clear: I would not hit it.


28 posted on 01/16/2012 2:10:12 PM PST by NEMDF
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TalBlack
“ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races."

Yada yada yada.

(singing) Some-one missed the jooo-oooke.....

LOL

29 posted on 01/16/2012 2:10:59 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: Keith in Iowa

And don’t these photos demonstrate that Velociraptors are People (eaters) Too???


30 posted on 01/16/2012 2:11:04 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: CharlesWayneCT; landshark

Good point. Landshark, you need to read CharlesWayneCT’s post.


31 posted on 01/16/2012 2:12:15 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor

Yes.

Evolve.

Become a bird.

We Avian-Americans are valued members of society.

32 posted on 01/16/2012 2:12:24 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Photobucket

Mmmmm... Bacon...

33 posted on 01/16/2012 2:13:51 PM PST by SunTzuWu
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

“Because of the housing discrimination I face, I must live in the woods, and as you can imagine, there are far fewer people to eat there.”

Dear Mr Thunder Lizard,

It appears that your housing and dining difficulties are commensurate with the situation that we are having locally, that being an excess of Obama voters residing in California.

If you would kindly deign to vacate the woods and relocate to the coastal chaparral of the Los Angeles region your problem, and ours, might be rectified.


34 posted on 01/16/2012 2:15:41 PM PST by Pelham (Vultures for Romney. We pluck your carcass)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ArrogantBustard
Evolve. Become a bird. We Avian-Americans are valued members of society.

See, this is the sort of pig-ignorant comm.... wait a second. Pig. Mmmmmmm. See you in a second.

35 posted on 01/16/2012 2:16:03 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
If I stand by your side, will you refrain from eating me?


36 posted on 01/16/2012 2:16:17 PM PST by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz; humblegunner

Lazamataz and humblegunner connect on an intellectual level...

Which one is more concerned?


37 posted on 01/16/2012 2:17:12 PM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz
Here's what ya need to do:

The next time you eat a human, don't eat the outer shell, just the insides.
Then WEAR the outer shell as a suit and then they will treat you better. Kinda like a wolf in sheeps clothing.

38 posted on 01/16/2012 2:17:56 PM PST by red-dawg
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 30 | View Replies]

To: Lazamataz

39 posted on 01/16/2012 2:19:15 PM PST by anglian
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: red-dawg; Lazamataz

It didn't work too well with Edgar.

40 posted on 01/16/2012 2:19:31 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 101-120 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson