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Candid discussion about discrimination: I'm a velociraptor in a wool suit! [Vanity]
1/16/2012 | By Lazamataz

Posted on 01/16/2012 1:48:07 PM PST by Lazamataz

ON this Martin Luther King day, it is customary to review the progress African Americans have made in striding towards a level of equality with the majority races.

But I wish to speak of the unsung heros of the Civil Rights movement: Velociraptors.

I, as a velociraptor in a wool suit, have experienced HORRIFIC discrimination since the day I first poked my snout out of the stout eggshell that served as my womb.

The level of discrimination a dromaeosaurid theropod dinosaur from the Cretaceous faces, is unreal. Hell, I walk onto a MARTA train ...and everyone screams and runs, and MARTA police are ALWAYS shooting at me.

Good thing I hunt in packs. If not for my friends, the cops would have gotten me a long time ago.

And as far as jobs?? FORGET IT. Let's leave aside the fact that I usually devour the interviewer in the first 30 seconds, shall we? The fact remains: I *NEVER* GET THE OFFER.

Housing is impossible to acquire for a 'raptor. Every time I fill out a lease, it's always the same 'stereotypical' questions: "Have you eaten any of your neighbors?" This is not even considered a discriminatory question under the Fair Housing Act, yet it is clearly directed at those of us of the Thunder Lizard Persuasion.

Because of the housing discrimination I face, I must live in the woods, and as you can imagine, there are far fewer people to eat there. Location, for a velociraptor, is everything.

Is there any federal aid available for us? I should think not. NOT ONE BILL in the last 100 Congresses have been written to address the special difficulties faced by velociraptors in wool suits. Hell, I cannot even enter a federal building without the National Guard being called, and this -- obviously -- prevents me from obtaining scholorships, Welfare, or even Food Stamps.

And we marched, back in the 1960's, right alongside the Ray Innis' and the Jesse Jacksons' and the Martin Luther Kings'. We were leaping on police detachments with 20-foot vertical leaps, tearing heads from bodies, and disemboweling police with a single swipe of our vicious claws. Yet are we given ANY credit for helping minorities have a voice in America?

We need to talk about the discrimination shown towards velociraptors in wool suits. I hope this article can open that dialogue.


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Chit/Chat; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: cheese; discrimination; equality; mlk; thatsraaaaaaaaaacist; velociraptors
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1 posted on 01/16/2012 1:48:19 PM PST by Lazamataz
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To: martin_fierro; Larry Lucido; writer33

Your input on this critical topic is appreciated.


2 posted on 01/16/2012 1:50:03 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: TheOldLady; trisham; onyx

Is there any advice you can offer a velociraptor in a wool suit (moi)?


3 posted on 01/16/2012 1:51:52 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Travis McGee; Squantos; Southack

I know one of you will be able to address the issues of discrimination I — a velociraptor in a wool suit — face, every day.


4 posted on 01/16/2012 1:53:40 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: humblegunner; ken5050; cripplecreek

This is an important article about a group that is discriminated against daily.


5 posted on 01/16/2012 1:55:21 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: central_va; Keith in Iowa; Berlin_Freeper; SkyDancer

Who has something they can add to this article on this very important MLK day?


6 posted on 01/16/2012 1:56:53 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: kristinn; real saxophonist

Some of the old timers here on Free Republic might have some good suggestions for me.


7 posted on 01/16/2012 1:57:55 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz
Yes. Imho, your biggest threat is the common clothes moth, Tineola bisselliella.

Avoid it.

8 posted on 01/16/2012 1:59:03 PM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Lazamataz

I recommend switching to a poly-blend.

The scratchy wool is making you grumpy.


9 posted on 01/16/2012 1:59:53 PM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: Lazamataz

You know, I think the very name raptor (”thief”) is discriminatory. I think they should be called Theropod-Americans.


10 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:05 PM PST by denydenydeny (The more a system is all about equality in theory the more it's an aristocracy in practice.)
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To: Lazamataz
Velociraptors are not known for their oral hygiene. Perhaps you need to start there.
11 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:31 PM PST by SunTzuWu
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To: thackney
Grumpy.

That is a typical REPUBLICAN CODE WORD for Ravenous Carnivorous Reptilian Killing Machine, isn't it???

12 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:39 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz

You know, I think the very name raptor (”thief”) is discriminatory. I think they should be called Theropod-Americans.


13 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:39 PM PST by denydenydeny (The more a system is all about equality in theory the more it's an aristocracy in practice.)
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To: Lazamataz

Avoid pirates and ninjas. It’s a lose-lose situation.


14 posted on 01/16/2012 2:01:49 PM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: denydenydeny
I think they should be called Theropod-Americans

Excellent point!

15 posted on 01/16/2012 2:02:28 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz; trisham
Stay away from velcro.


16 posted on 01/16/2012 2:03:29 PM PST by lysie
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To: Lazamataz
We were leaping on police detachments with 20-foot vertical leaps, tearing heads from bodies, and disemboweling police with a single swipe of our vicious claws.

So many young people these days are unaware of the epic
struggles and hard battles fought by Raptors for the most
basic rights supposedly afforded to all of us, both Raptor
and non-Raptor alike.

Personally I'm sickened by the apathy shown toward Raptor
issues, studies, services and basic recognition. It's a freakin' genocide.

17 posted on 01/16/2012 2:03:31 PM PST by humblegunner (The kinder, gentler version...)
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To: Lazamataz
I see you finally found your bong.

Where was it? Under the floorboards?

18 posted on 01/16/2012 2:04:09 PM PST by red-dawg
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To: SunTzuWu
Velociraptors are not known for their oral hygiene. Perhaps you need to start there.

Let's face facts: No toothbrush is big enough; there are no sheep-flesh-flavored toothpastes; and I eat every dentist who looks in my mouth.

19 posted on 01/16/2012 2:04:26 PM PST by Lazamataz (Every single decision Obama makes is to harm America.)
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To: Lazamataz

Do you have to have dermatology exclusions on your medical insurance?


20 posted on 01/16/2012 2:05:39 PM PST by NEMDF
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