[IbJensen]

The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size, authorities said.

Wasn't that what he wanted?

Must be a registered Democrat. Had he only known that if he wanted a larger penis the central government would have issued him one under the 'stimulus' program.

[Paisan]

“He was kind of a wingnut,”

Ya think?

[grey_whiskers]

The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size, authorities said.

Fish in a barrel Sarasm Torpedo^TM ARMED. FIRE!!

[Jemian]

“They also slid a little piece of metal between the collar and his thing, so if it slipped past it wouldn’t hit his thing,” Broussard said.

His thing? Broussard couldn't say, "penis?" Or, is this some firefighter terminology heretofore I had been unaware?

[P8riot]

“They said his comment was, ‘This will make me the chief of my tribe,’”

ROFLMAO!

[Recon Dad]

The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size, authorities said.

I hate it when this happens!

[fredhead]

[tubebender]

Put the coffee down before reading...

[Overtaxed Patriot]

Love is a burning thing
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
I fell into a ring of fire

I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire
The ring of fire

[Shery]

Everybody’s lining up quick for this year’s Darwin Awards!

My, my!

[Joe 6-pack]

A little something from about two years ago...

Dwarf glued penis to Hoover

[Responsibility2nd]

 A wing nut. Am I reading this correctly? He got "it" stuck in a wing nut?

 

I'd be embarrassed. Embarrassed that it would even fit in a wing nut.

[windcliff]

ping

[RichInOC]

Remember, gentlemen...if it stays up longer than four hours, call your doctor. And someone with a circular saw.

[Larry Lucido]

In what firefighters described as a once-in-a-lifetime call,

It was a one in a million chance doc, one in a million.

[Billthedrill]

Oh, man, that doesn't work at all.

Uh...or so I've heard.

[Snurple]

The penis had blackened and swollen to five times its normal size

DAYUM! Now thats a "real" penis enlargement....big and black too!

[dfwgator]

"We've got a bleeder!"

[DeltaZulu]

the central government would have issued him one under the 'stimulus' program.

I now understand why ACORN provides assistance to pimps and prostitutes. Thank you for this enlightening comment.

[wxgesr]

At first I thought it said, “President’s member” and first thought of Biden.

I think I would have killed myself before calling help. No wait, that would mean my family would have to live with that memory. I guess it is better just to live with what God gave me in the first place.

What a dork!

[Doomonyou]

Got Wood?