Posted on 07/25/2009 10:48:54 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
I was just on my way out the door, rushed for time as usual, when the phone rang. Caller ID said, "000-000-0000." I had a pretty good idea who it'd be (in a general sense) but I was expecting a call from an out-of-town business associate that day, so I couldn't afford not to answer.
"Hello?" I said warily. Suspicious pause. (This, in my experience, nearly always means an automated system is hooking a telemarketer up to the line.) And sure enough, "Yes, hello ma'am, may I speak with a... (pause) ...Mr. William J. Fields?"
"There's no one by that name at this number," I fairly growled, thumb already reaching for the disconnect button.
"Well then, ma'am," asked the voice before I could complete the move, "Is there a Hillary Fields?" Grrr. I couldn't deny it. I hardened my tone even further and answered, "What's this about?" in as abrupt a fashion as possible.
"We'd like you to answer a few quick questions about your long distance plan..."
Click. I'm done with you.
What I did may have been bad manners, but it's nothing compared to the story of an Ohio man named Charles Papenfus, recently arrested for 'going postal' on one of those extended service auto warranty telemarketers who wouldn't stop harassing him. According to Stltoday.com:
Charles W. Papenfus, 43, of Fostoria, Ohio, allegedly told a sales representative during a May 18 telephone call that he would burn down the building and kill the employees and their families. He was indicted for making a terrorist threat, a Class D felony; and he could be sentenced to up to four years in prison if convicted.
Wow, now that's consumer rage.
I don't know the specifics of his case, but I must tell you, I work primarily from home, and these telemarketing jackasses call at all hours of the day (particularly the auto warranty ones telling me my warranty is about to expire, which is ludicrous since I don't own a car.) I'm on the do-not-call list, but they always seem to find a way around it. And they're often automated calls, so I can't even do a Papenfus and take my fury out at them directly. I'm forced to fume helplessly and one-sidedly at the automated voice waking me up at 7AM on a Sunday, breaking into my dial-in meeting, or interrupting my romantic dinner with my husband.
I'm not advocating specific threats or any sort of violence, but let me ask this: When these callers have violated the sanctity of our homes in this insistent and unwelcome manner, do they deserve anything resembling courteous treatment in response?
I realize that some people who are telemarketers are simply desperate for a job and know what they're doing is annoying, but I can't imagine taking that job unless I were destitute and responsible for feeding my family and there was no other way. Must I be nice to these callers just in case that's who's on the other end of the line? Hmmmm
“would just hanging up be considered rude?”
***
I think that is what telemarketers bank on. My late mother was old school...taught to be unfailingly polite and that included not hanging up on anyone. She would patiently and politely listen to the spiel and otherwise engage the telemarketer in conversation. There were more than a few times when I had to grab the receiver from her hand and hang it up.
Now a lot of these calls are automated. You can’t talk to a real person. Even worse, when you hang up, the automated spiel still goes on. If you need to make an emergency call, you have to wait till the sales pitch ends. That I think should be illegal.
“I’m glad you called! Does your product remove blood stains?”
My favorite reply to a telemarketer...trying to induce me to go to see a time share in a tonw in my state which she could not pronounce was that “ther restraining order prohibited me from going there”...after I pumped her up to think I was going to be going
“Charles W. Papenfus...allegedly told a sales representative...that he would burn down the building and kill the employees and their families.”
LOL! I once told an AOL rep that they were the worst group since the slave traders.
She hung up on me.
Oh, tell me about it. I've asked multiple times to be taken off their lists, I've inquired as to how much it would cost to extend the warranty on MY `62 CHEVY TRUCK... or my 26 yr old car.
Oh, wait, you don't support vehicles that far back? THEN STOP CALLING ME! [/frustrated][/cynic]
First of all, I don’t answer un-identifiable numbers.
If they in any way block their number, I simply don’t answer.
Now... the smart ones will use an odd area code (I’m learning them) besides 800, or 866... and sometimes it comes in as “private”. Those are the ones that usually get through... sometimes.
Once I determine that its an unsolicited call, I explain to them that I don’t do business over the phone due to the high volume of those types of calls that I receive... I suggest to them that they should try a different marketing strategy.
If this doesn’t work, and they persist, and I have a little time to burn, I start acting interested. As the call progresses, and they are sure they have a sale, they start going for a commitment... that’s when I start asking questions.... Lots of questions... and the more persistent they are, the more repetitive and unintelligible I get. I especially like catching them in a marketing representation that they make which cannot be backed up. Yeah... I play those for all they are worth.
Eventually they get frustrated and hang up.
You see, these people have quotas... they have to contact so many people in a certain period of time... and they have to make a certain number of sales daily. And if they are not willing to respect my wishes to not waste my time, I really don’t have a problem wasting a little of theirs.
If they cant take a hint, they are flipping fair game... HAVE FUN with them!
Change your telephone number. Or take out your home phone completely and use your cell phone.
BTW, the ‘Do Not Call List’ is a joke. As is everything else the government tries to do.
Sounds about right to me.
Many times these telemarketers would call and say “Hello Mr so and so how are you today?”
That’s when I’d get them. “Well you know I’ve got this cyst on my eye that keeps on bothering me and it’s very painful when I blink.” I would then continue on and on making up other painful problems to moan about until they finally hung up on me.
Unless these folks are rejection junkies, I figure they are probably there because (for whatever reason) that is the best way they have at the moment to put food on the table.
I have tried the no call list. Big whoop. That cut down the calls to an average of one every 15 minutes.
Then I politely informed the people who were calling from 'charitable organizations' (some of which were legitimate organizations) that we did not respond to phone solicitations, that the volume of incoming calls had become paralyzing, and that no money would ensue from any calls, no matter whom.
If they wanted to try for a donation, then send something in print and either we would respond or not, but no money for a phone call.
Well, it took a month or two, but that got the call volume down to an average of only one per hour, for about 10 hours a day.
Favorites:
Their machine informs you to "Please hold for an important message..."
Forget it. If it isn't important enough to have a human call me, it isn't that important.
No ID, no answer. Let your machine talk to my machine.
If it is important, leave a brief message (you have 30 seconds from the beep) and I'll get back to you if I agree (about the importance of the call, that is).
It is a real pain when your clients are all from out of town, so I give prospective clients my cell number. (that's a whole 'nother tirade, just let me say the little guy with glasses was voted 'most wanted to stake out as coyote bait' in an informal poll at the local watering hole when discussing cell phones...)
But back to the topic at hand. Be rude to some one who is dialing for dollars?
Nope. They have enough problems of their own...
In the meantime, I have acquired this lifetime supply of mailing labels...
My credit card company calls me once a week.
I ask them two questions:
Is there something wrong with my credit card? (NO)
Is my account past due? (NO)
Why, thank you for calling!
I appreciate the weekly updates on my account!
Then I hang up. :)
My mother puts the phone down next to a radio and walks away...then goes back later and hangs the phone up after awhile :)
Such calls are unsolicited, so I treat them the way I want, namely like a phone sex call. When they object, I propose they sue their employer for putting them in such a sexual harassment situation.
I do not get calls from the same place twice.
The easiest thing to do is when you hear the beginning of a telemarketing message from someone — say absolutely nothing and immediately hang up... and that’s it... LOL...
If it is automated, one of the number keys(9-2) should get you on their internal DNC list, if not 1 will get you a live person and to their DNC list. Otherwise if you get a number on the caller ID, you can usually call it back and request to be put on their DNC list. These usually last about 60-90 days then your number finds it's way back to the call list again. I keep a list too, and inform them I have already requested they not call x-times, and any future calls will result in escalation of tactics.
For the live cretins that call and call, tell you there's no such thing as a do not call list for businesses, etc. Demand to talk to their boss and let him know that while they tie you up needlessly, real customers are likely calling you and getting a busy signal, and for that reason alone, you never buy anything from someone that calls you!
If that fails just let them listen to conservative talk radio. I've yet to have one hold on for more than 30 seconds, or call back.
Totally off topic, but too funny to miss. Click on the link at # 24. You will fall out of the chair laughing.
(Thanks, Slings and Arrows.)
Always a pleasure.
Our family has a special talent that has actually resulted in telemarketers hanging up with us!
I’m usually decent with the first call... and tell them to remove me from their phone lists.
If they call again, I calmly explain that I’ve already asked them to remove me from their phone list... and then lay into them.
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