Posted on 03/29/2009 7:41:27 PM PDT by A_cool_guy
I know some jokes, but I don't know any good political jokes!! Could everyone post some good jokes here?
Thanks,
A_cool_guy
(He also says that our one remaining Siamese cat imagines that they are gnawing the skulls of Siamese cats -- she doesn't REALLY know what happened to the other two deceased kitties although they died full of years and are buried in the yard under the rhododendrons)
Poor kitteh!
She is a complete wuss but is trading on the fearsome reputation of our now-deceased 14 pound Blue Point male Attack Siamese. He was a dog fighter of astounding power and skill, and had all the dogs in the neighborhood in a state of total subjection (other than two chocolate labs from across the street that were too stupid to stop when their noses got tattooed). He beat up Shelley when she was a young dog, and she went in total fear of him and consequently of Nifi as well. So Nifi bullies Shelley shamelessly, but not Ruby. When Ruby catches Nifi unawares, though, all she does is lick her all over, which grosses the cat out completely but does her no harm.
Ash does not lick, fortunately. Wednesday and Shannon give her a sniff sometimes, but they only come in contact when they happen to all want to use the stairs at the same time.
Here’s Wednesday now, taking advantage of James’s and Vlad’s naptime to have a snack. The byos upset her much more than the dog!
LOL! Shannon will wash us (and Wednesday) if we’re not clean to her standards, but Ash just dribbles a little.
I do genealogy too
My mom's side is not so difficult, I did trace them back to Bavaria and Prussia. They are relatively newcomersa having only immigrated to the States and Canada in the mid 1800s.
We have the advice of none other than Groucho Marx to assure us that it is a bad idea to let a dog swallow a book.
.
.
Because, of course, inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I have almost completed the back porche.
This is where the Koi pond will go. I will wrap the pond around the garden and make higher with the dirt from the pond so I have my own island.
WOW!! Good going!
"I'm a literary sort of Lab . . . ."
- Ruby, a/k/a "Devil Dog"
Is she allowed on the bed?
It's been a long time since she shredded a Kleenex box -- in fact she is now being allowed onto the bed for short periods and behaves herself admirably. She snoozes at my side, and the older Lab curls up at my feet.
For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals, and
2. Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.
Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.
Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history.
Good morning, Undead! Sad news this morning, FReeper “Alia” has passed away, someone I met in Real Life and admired very much.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2234122/posts
And here's our kitteh, because one has to get through the day with a smile!
James and Vlad do that at our house. Ash is too dignified.
Sad news, May she rest in peace!
A good Christian woman. She passed through the Undead Thread occasionally, when I had baby pictures up!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.