*** Official Weekend Singles' Thread - May 30 to June 1 - Crushes ***

May 30, 2008

[WFTR]

Welcome to the Weekend Singles' Thread!!

This weekend's topic is crushes, and once again, this one wasn't my idea. The idea may still be interesting, and we'll see what people have to say. Just in case, I'm going to try to give some extra bonus questions.

A couple of things are true about crushes. First, everyone has had them. Second, I'm not sure that anyone really likes admitting them. If I'm right, maybe this will be a difficult thread, but I'm not going to ask anyone to admit to anything.

A third thing about crushes may be that we don't all agree on how they are defined. I've heard of at least one definition that casts them in a negative light. According to this definition, a crush involves a great deal of sexual fantasy that often isn't appropriate. Other definitions are more innocent. In these, a crush involves feelings of attraction, including physical attraction, but does not include a strong desire for anything inappropriate. An example of the former would be a teenage girl willing to do anything for the star quarterback on the football team or a rock musician. An example of the latter would be a young boy feeling an attraction to his teacher. What is your definition? When someone speaks of having a crush or when you think of having a crush, do you think of something innocent although maybe frustrating or do you think of something not so innocent? Do you distinguish between crushes and other feelings of attraction or infatuation?

The next question is what qualities tend to make you or those you know have crushes on someone? Do you fall for a certain "type" or have you had these feelings for all kinds of people?

Are you more likely to have a crush on someone that you know in real life, or are you more likely to have a crush on some public figure that you know through the media?

How do you think most crushes turn out? Do they ever lead to serious romantic relationships? Do they ever lead to solid friendships?

What questions have I failed to ask about this topic? If you were hosting this weekend, how would you have approached the topic?

[tlj18]

PING and BOOKMARK

[Excellence]

My first crush started when I was 14, lasted 14 years until he died, and took 14 years to let go of. It was strange, but every time he was in dire trouble I would feel an extreme urgency to call. It's just that the last time I was too late, somebody else answered the phone and, recognizing my name and that I was a friend, told me he had committed suicide.

[WFTR]

Happy Memorial Day!!! (Traditional)

Friday Night Singles
Please freepmail DaveLoneRanger to be added / removed

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Bonus Questions

1. The traditional Memorial Day was May 30, but Congress changed the observance to the last Monday in May beginning in 1971. Some people believe that this change cheapens the "real meaning" of Memorial Day because people use their three day weekend for various kinds of travel and parties. Others believe that the current observance is fine. Do you think Memorial Day should be observed on the traditional May 30 or do you think that the current practice of observing the holiday and giving most people a day off work on the fourth Monday in May is better? Do you think that more people would take time to honor those who've died if the holiday were observed only on May 30? If the government observed Memorial Day on May 30, do you think businesses would change their employee holidays or would they continue to give the day off on the fourth Monday in May?

2. Memorial Day is traditionally considered the start of the summer vacation season. Is the cost of gasoline impacting your plans for summer vacation or any other kind of summer activity?

3. Do you tend to wear your hair differently during the summer because of the heat, different summer activities, or for any other reason?

[qam1]

I currently have a crush on my car Insurance Agent, I believe the feeling might be mutual

Unfortunately she works in the same room with some older nosy women, so I don’t know how to ask her out at her work with this women sitting right next to her. Not to mention, it’s my car insurance, so how often do I really have to go there?

Luckily they screwed up my policy so I got to see her again, but outside of purposely damaging my car I really have no reason to go there (I can pay my bill online).

Just dam.

[WFTR]

Wow, I'm sorry for you loss. That's a sad situation. If you don't mind my asking, did the relationship ever grow into any kind of mutually romantic relationship? I guess I've never thought of a crush lasting fourteen years. The fact that you remained a presence in his life as much as you could speaks well of you.

Bill

[WFTR]

Does she have her own e-mail address or does everyone in the office use the same e-mail? If she has her own e-mail, maybe you could drop her a line for some reason. The nosy lady next door may not have any reason to think twice about her reading just another e-mail from a customer. If you exchange a few e-mails, maybe you'd have an excuse to ask her out.

Bill

[kitkat]

My first, and only crush, was when I was nineteen. I knew the second we were introduced that he was the man for me.

I invited him to my school’s alumni prom. I loved every second of being with him. I’d see him at church dances, and he always took me out afterwards and saw me home. BUT HE NEVER ASKED ME OUT ON A REAL DATE.

The rest of this story is so unreal that if you read it in a book, you’d say the writer couldn’t really think you’d believe it. BELIEVE IT!

About a year after we’d met I was reading the paper one evening when my picture jumped out at me. I was stunned. How did that get here? But wait, I thought, “Those aren’t my clothes. What’s happening here?”

It was his brand-new fiance’s picture. We were exact images of each other.

Shortly after that I ran into both of them on a crowded bus. I turned and found myself staring at myself. I pretended I hadn’t noticed anything unusual and turned away.

It took me a year to get over that crush. Was it worth it?

Hell, no!

[LaineyDee]

What is your definition?

Infatuation!

When someone speaks of having a crush or when you think of having a crush, do you think of something innocent although maybe frustrating or do you think of something not so innocent?

Usually I think of innocent flirtation.

Do you distinguish between crushes and other feelings of attraction or infatuation?

Infatuations are usually not based on reality, but on "wishful thinking". The most romantic and handsome man in the world can turn me off in a nanosecond... by being a total slob at home.

The next question is what qualities tend to make you or those you know have crushes on someone? Do you fall for a certain "type" or have you had these feelings for all kinds of people?

My "type" has always been something between a cowboy rogue and a yuppie. Go figure. Maybe that's why I'm still single? *chuckle*

Are you more likely to have a crush on someone that you know in real life, or are you more likely to have a crush on some public figure that you know through the media?

I've only had one serious crush in my life .....and it truly opened my eyes. I fell for a guy in high school that I dated for a year. He moved about 600 miles away after he graduated and I never saw him again.....UNTIL a few years ago. We found each other on classmates.com and set up a meeting. We talked for a few hours and when I left......I thought "OMG......WHAT did I EVER see in him????". This is a guy I pined for over 20 years. The good thing about that meeting is that it destroyed all those fantasies of "what could have been". The bad thing was......it took me a long time to get him to quit calling. *chuckle*

[LaineyDee]

BTW.......great topic!

[LaineyDee]

#1...I like tradition.

#2...I haven't made any vacation plans which involve driving. In fact, I haven't made any vacation plans.....period. (I'm so boring) The gas prices are eating up my mileage allowance for work...not allowing any extra to keep the car maintenanced. If this keeps up, I'll have to switch jobs.

#3...I wear my hair in a clip or ponytail during the summer. Too hot to wear it down. Especially in the Texas humidity.

[Rca2000]

I guess I was one of those who had a sort of “crush” on a teacher. In 6th grade, I became fond of one teacher, who many thought of as the “iron lady”, (in that she would take NO crap from anyone, and was said to give swats to students more often and harder than the principal.) However—I was able to remain on her GOOD side. She seemed to take an interest in my technical curiosities and such, even before I was in her class(from study hall and such). I was MADE to leave that school early in the 6th grade, to go to a private school, but this lady went to the church I started going to—and we became good friends(at least—that is what i THOUGHT at the time..) Before too long, I was not only friends with her, but had ALSO began to develop a friendship with her husband, who was deeply into computers and such and for a VERY short time, it LOOKED like I would be good friends with BOTH of them—and that he would even take an interest in me, and have me help him “work on” some things with him so as for me to learn more in my electronics hobby—and future career.

By that time, I was starting to think of Darlene as a second mother. But soon after—some not-too-good things happened at the church, which upset her, and she left, WITHOUT giving me ANY warning that she would do so until the DAY she left. I tired to have some friendship with her after that—but to no avail. Her husband also totally lost all interest in “giving me a chance” to increase my knowledge. In the end..she forgot me totally. Within the last 10 years I tried to contact her, and see if she wanted to become friends again, and at first—she was excited about seeing me—and THEN, retracted her invitation for me to come over there to her house.

A few years later when I was 14-15,I became friends with the mother of a girl I liked(but who did NOT really like me back, other than when it was “convenient” to do so) and once again,I thought I had “someone to go to” to talk things over with. For awhile, we seemed to have a somewhat close friendship—but in the end—she cut me off too, and THEN—believed a LIE told about me that I was doing drugs and selling them, in order to protect a girl who WAS getting drugs, cigarettes and beer for kids in the youth group.(I have spoken about this before here—and do not wish to go into details about it again.)

[snugs]

What a sad story - sorry about your loss.

[snugs]

How surreal

[My hearts in London - Everett]

You can go in and add and delete car rental to your policy every month! lol :~) Just trying to help!

[qam1]

Does she have her own e-mail address or does everyone in the office use the same e-mail? If she has her own e-mail, maybe you could drop her a line for some reason.

She does have her own email.

Actually, I think I blew it with that. Because soon after my last visit my birthday came and I got a happy birthday email from her email and then a week later I got a thank you for being such a great customer email.

I wasn't sure if that was normal for an insurance company or not and I didn't respond. Yes, I'm kicking myself.

But I recently got a speeding ticket, so I have an excuse to go in to ask her about my rates. I just got to figure out how to get rid of the old lady.

[ROTB]

Here’s what you say:

“What time are we having dinner tonight?”

They love that. Just say that. Wait for an answer. Forget about the nosy old c**k-blocking hag. She’ll be a distant memory 2 minutes later.

Good hunting man!

[WFTR]

That’s an amazing story. Thanks for telling it.

[WFTR]

I'm with you on seeing crushes as something innocent. I've had a few infatuations that were less healthy, but I don't worry about having a crush from time to time.

The most romantic and handsome man in the world can turn me off in a nanosecond... by being a total slob at home

I'll never qualify as the most romantic and handsome man anywhere, but I'm afraid that I am a total slob at home. LOL

I'd like to see the cross between a cowboy rogue and a yuppie. Are there any characters on TV or the movies who come close to meeting that description in your mind?

I've never run into any woman on whom I'd had a crush long ago. I can't imagine how that would feel.

Bill