I am not a poster. I am a crispy critter.

[The Zontron 7000]

I am an internet java script sent to infiltrate your site and transform you from political neanderthals into a modern 21st Century progressive mode.

This is your first warning.

Do not try and resist.

It is useless.

Accept your fate.

You will be assimilated.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

You didn't see, "The Thing"? Or "Alien Vs Predator"?

[Lady Jag]

Do you have a pair of polarized, photochromic tinted glasses?

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Bunitty likes Michael Moore sweat...

[MNJohnnie]

1,000 posted on 11/05/2005 9:09:11 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (

Way to go! Only 64,000 to go!

[Lady Jag]

Let's talk about Bin Laden and sheep.

Are you a sheep expert?

[Monkey Face]

Ah! But you CAN!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Waht if he turns on you for the with onions and spicy mustard?

[Monkey Face]

Yes, and I have to use sunglasses with them when I got outside.

[Alice au Wonderland]

Ch$$$t, we're doomed if he gets loose in the castle!

[Irish_Thatcherite]

You stand corrected.

[Monkey Face]

It's still the Orbiting Asylum, no matter what name it has...and I don't mean the looney bin.

[MNJohnnie]

Let's talk about Bin Laden and sheep. Are you a sheep expert?

Bin Laden's a big pile of goo. Allah got him with the earthquake in Pakistan and Satan is letting the sheep have their way with Binny even as we speak.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

I am not a sheep expert - I live in a beef farming area.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

No.

[Irish_Thatcherite]

Ch$$$t - you got that spot on!

[Lady Jag]

Excellent! Those are a great help. They aren't easy to get; that's why I asked.

Here's another different question...are you or anyone you know on this thread on dialup? I'll control the pics if it's a factor.

[Alice au Wonderland]

Cavete oves!

[Dead Corpse]

Two fellas from rural Minnesota walked into a pet shop in Minneapolis. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven.
The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of the big cliffs by a lake. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 100-foot drop and says: "Dis looks like a grand place."
He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."
BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE!
PART TWO:
Moments later, Knut arrives up at the cliffs. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
"Hey, Ole. Watch dis," Knut says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Ole watches as half way down, Knut takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Knut continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."
BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE!
PART THREE:
Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more, Ole shakes his head.....
"First der was Sven with his budgie jumping.... den Knut parrotshooting.... and now Lars is hengliding!"

[Alice au Wonderland]

It happens once in a while. *shrug*

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

The mustard is homemade. And the only copy of the recipe is in my head. :)

(Ewww, just had a "Tales from the Crypt" flashback. The one with the telepathic gorilla. Hope the bunitty never sees it!)