Two fellas from rural Minnesota walked into a pet shop in Minneapolis. They head to the bird section and Sven says to Ole, "Dat's dem."
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. "Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere," says Sven.
The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Sven's pick-up and drive to the top of the big cliffs by a lake. At the cliffs, Sven looks down at the 100-foot drop and says: "Dis looks like a grand place."
He takes two birds out of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff. Ole watches as Sven falls all the way to the bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole shakes his head and says: "Dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me."
BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE!
PART TWO:
Moments later, Knut arrives up at the cliffs. He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
"Hey, Ole. Watch dis," Knut says. He takes a parrot from the bag and throws himself over the edge of the cliff. Ole watches as half way down, Knut takes the gun and shoots the parrot. Knut continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his body.
Ole shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either."
BUT WAIT!!!! There's MORE!
PART THREE:
Ole is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Lars appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a paper bag out of which he pulls a chicken. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs holds it over his head and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more, Ole shakes his head.....
"First der was Sven with his budgie jumping.... den Knut parrotshooting.... and now Lars is hengliding!"
OhLOL!!! Only from Minnesota!
Thanks! I'll put that in my Undead File!
:falls off chair laughing: I am going to have to remember that the next time I am in the UP eh?
Okay, here goes:
Two leprechauns are having a disagreement and they decide to go to the local convent to see if the nuns there can settle it for them. They knock on the door and a nun answers it.
"Pardon me, Sister, but me friend and I are havin' a friendly argument and we were wonderin' if you could settle it fer us."
"I'll try," says the nun.
"Well, Sister, we were wonderin' if there are any lady leprechaun nuns hereabouts," says one of the leprechauns.
"No, there aren't any 'round here," replies the nun.
"Well, how about in the county?" asks the other leprechaun.
"No, there aren't any in the county either," answers the nun.
"Sister, are there any lady leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?!" asks the first leprechaun.
"No, gentlemen, there's no such thing as lady leprechaun nuns. Not anywhere," the nun replies and shuts the door.
The first leprechaun turns to the second and says, "See, Paddy! I told you, you f$$$in' a penguin!"