V A N I T Y -HUMOR-Things to do at Wal-Mart while your partner is taking their sweet time:

Forwarded email | Today | A truely whacked mind

[StJulian Perlmutter]

 

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.   

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.   

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.   

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.   

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.   

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.   

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.   

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'   

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.   

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.   

12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.   

13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!   

14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!

And; last, but not least!   

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!" 

[Mathews]

Bitter much?

[StJulian Perlmutter]

Super-secret video of MizSterious responding to my posts....

[GWfan]

Ok-
I worked in upscale retail for about 8 of my younger years. On one Friday night, I was helping a very wealthy (and tipsy) woman pick out clothing.

She was in a fitting room for a very long time. The room had only a chair and a wicker waste basket. There was a curtain instead of a door to the room.

Like I said earlier, the woman was in there for a LONG time. She suddenly left and do so quickly. Then we found her little 'surprise' in the wicker waste basket. She didn't even ask for toilet paper........

[RockinRight]

Otherwise, both genders can live perfect lives without having to deal with the other's crap. :)

Having a bad day with men, Najida??

[Mathews]

YUCK!!

[Lazamataz]

There is that.

[Lokibob]

Find the remote, and turn the volume up to max on the whole wall of tv's at the same time.

[najida]

No,
more like,
hmmmm,
a bad 4 + decades ;)

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

And BTW... I've NEVER seen a WallyWorld employee working very hard.

I have! Of course they were working very hard at trying to get out of working at all, but they were working very hard nevertheless.

[Dont Mention the War]

If you really want to cause trouble, pick up one of those intercom phones and shout "Code brown in the pharmacy!" over the PA system. "Code brown" is Wal-Mart Speak for someone getting shot.

Actually, here's a general tip: If you're ever in a Wal-Mart and hear anyone announcing a "Code" anything besides white or black (or "Adam", which just means a lost kid), it's best to abandon your cart and get the hell out of the building as fast as you can via the nearest emergency exit.

[EveningStar]

ping

[HairOfTheDog]

In other words, to you, it's really funny to unload on the Walmart employees, who are obviously way beneath your stature. You folks are sick puppydawgs. I have a sense of humor, but there's nothing funny about mistreating people who are just trying to make a living--and probably working very hard at it, too. With attitudes like yours, I can only wonder when we're going to be using the term "going Walmart" instead of "going postal."

Ohfercryingoutloud. Lighten up. It's funny to talk about doing some of these things, but no one's going to actually do it. Except maybe for the alarm clocks, I think that'd be hilarious.

Jeepers, Miz... it's a joke.

[RockinRight]

4 decades?

I could have sworn you were younger than that!

[WKB]

Anytime you can't find your wife in WM
Simply find a good looking woman with
a good looking butt and start following her
around looking at her butt
and I promise you wife will appear.

[najida]

Hun,
In many trailer parks, I could be a great granny ;)

[Sofa King]

Well, as someone who doesn't have a serious mental disorder which makes him feel the need to piss all over anyone who's having a good laugh, I found it funny.

[eyespysomething]

LOL! Funny. Too bad I just got back from WalMart.

Ask the garden shop clerk if the Amdro fire ant poison has a discernable taste, and if it does, could they recommend one that doesn't.

[billbears]

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Lighten up. How is that harming anyone? Should we just ban all jokes out in public? Candid Camera, the TV show, used to pull jokes of this sort in businesses. Should that have been banned too? I would not involve myself in a joke that is at the expense of others. But for the most part I don't see any of these as hurtful.

And to be absolutely sure, let's ban them at the federal level and get Congress involved in something else it's not supposed to be doing.

[BJClinton]

[Larry Lucido]

LOL!!! Or the police. Which is probably better.