Posted on 10/13/2005 7:46:27 AM PDT by StJulian Perlmutter
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring in pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, & and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the Mission Impossible theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack; when people browse through, say PICK ME!
14. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!
And; last, but not least!
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
That's stereotyping. I've seen some very tall Wal-Mart employees!
Ask them where they sell the horsemeat (for hamburger).
Martin, this is a email ping for your list.
Actually, your whole post looks more like some moronic DU post. No one's asking for a p*ssing contest, just not very amused. Our neighbor, widowed last year, had to take a job at Walmart. You wouldn't believe what she has to put up with--not so much from management, as from a**hole customers like you. Yes, some people actually DO some of the things you laugh about. And she gets to clean it up.
I can only hope you find yourself in that position some day. Seems only fair. Maybe then I'll have a good laugh.
Geez...I don't believe that this was a serious post and StJulian Perlmutter was advocating actually doing these things.....
Lighten up a little........
NeverGore :^)
kma
I've been to Palm Beach. Great weather, but I understand your tagline (never visit the parks without a male chastity belt!)
I found these quite amusing. Thanks for posting it. Some people need to get a sense of humor - even if they have to buy it at Wal-Mart!
No,
the "Sick, Twisted & Ugly Award" goes to the thread about the man who torched his wife....
There are more jokes about 'maybe next time she'll listen' or 'Hunka hunka burnin' love' than people actually horrified about someone with 50% of their body covered in 3rd degree burns.
Again,
Two Seperate Continents for the Genders is my mantra today.
(If you're a man) Grab several pieces of the skimpiest women's underwear you can find and loudly ask where the dressing rooms are
Get a bottle of antifreeze and ask an employee if it can be used in mixed drinks since it packs such a wild buzz
Go to the toy aisle and turn on all the noisy toys at once
Go to Lawn and Garden and ask where they keep the cannabis seeds
Take a half-used tube of K-Y jelly to customer service and demand a refund. When they ask why, tell them it "tastes like crap on toast" and wait for a reaction
< Jerry Lewis Accent>
Build vast, sprawling death camps with the killing and the shouting and the running and the HEY LADY....
Will video conferencing be allowed?
I can totally picture it.
I hate WalMart employees.
Whoops. Sorry; I replied to the wrong post. :)
Nah,
just an itty bitty bridge for visits if you want.
Otherwise, both genders can live perfect lives without having to deal with the other's crap. :)
OMG!! Lighten up a little. If you were any more uptight you'd be squeezing out diamonds the size of baseballs. It's HUMOR. Something this world could use a little more of. And BTW... I've NEVER seen a WallyWorld employee working very hard.
They're not bad in a nice cream sauce with sauteed onions.
I guess you didn't understand my post.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.