Epstein Released From Hell After Announcing He Is Transgender

Babylon Bee ^ | 1/31/2020 | Babylon Bee

[Old Man From WV]

HELL—Jeffrey Epstein has been released from hell after coming out as transgender, sources in the afterlife confirmed today.

The millionaire and convicted sex offender donned a blonde wig and told the guardians of hell that he was rehabilitated and ready to go back to the land of the living.

[Old Man From WV]

"We no longer consider Epstein a threat -- he is now stunning and brave," said a representative for the place of eternal punishment. "Hopefully he will be welcomed as the LGBTQ+ hero he now is." Hellish forces also issued an apology to Epstein for treating him poorly. "We didn't realize he was actually a persecuted member of the marginalized LGBTQ+ community. We hope his story can inspire other criminals and sex offenders to come out." Some criticized the release of the dangerous criminal, but these people were told to educate themselves. Upon returning to Earth, Epstein was surprised to learn some people still believe he killed himself.

[pepsi_junkie]

Unfortunately, she was released into the custody of Bill Clinton and has since been frantically petitioning to be readmitted into hell.

[bigbob]

Didn’t work for Jeffery Dahmer after he said he had gone vegan...

[treetopsandroofs]

Oops, wrong picture.

[kaehurowing]

Epstein did not kill himself.

[MikelTackNailer]

I love the BabBee but they put this one up too soon. It’s obvious there were too many coincidences surrounding the man’s supposed suicide and the work needed to shine the light of truth is not done. But don’t mind me - I still suspect there’s a pedophile cult that involves the Podesta brothers, the Clintons and Comet Pizza in D.C.

[JimRed]

While there he suggested to Ted Kennedy (D-HL) that he pull the tranny stunt too.

[DannyTN]

[facedown]

lol

[zeugma]

Too funny. Perfect satire.

[USS Alaska]

I love the BabBee but they put this one up too soon. It’s obvious there were too many coincidences surrounding the man’s supposed suicide and the work needed to shine the light of truth is not done. But don’t mind me - I still suspect there’s a pedophile cult that involves the Podesta brothers, the Clintons and Comet Pizza in D.C.

So what? If you you love the Babylon Bitches, you have to know they are 100% pure satire.

That being said, IT'S A JOKE, NUMBNUTZ.

They are not in this strictly for your political beliefs, they make fun of current stuff...

SO THAT THEY CAN MAKE MONEY.

I know you are new, but that shouldn't make you stupid, please THINK, before you post.

Welcome to FR, but thinking is required.

[ViLaLuz]

Call me Hillary.

[metmom]

What a warm FR welcome /s

You need to relax a little. You are wound way too tight if you’re going after someone with that kind of nastiness.

[MikelTackNailer]

New? Numbnuts? I’ve been here 20 plus and evaluate everything before coffee. Babylon Bee is lesson wrapped in satire. Drawing humorless folks out is icing on the cupcake. Are you attacking me because I despise pedophiles or that I’m a fan of the Babylon Bee’s satire? If you’re a backer of pedophilia please change your name from that of a distinguished United States cruiser.

[USS Alaska]

please change your name from that of a distinguished United States cruiser.

Boomer, Ohio Class Nuke Sub, and I'll keep it with or without your approval.