Who left the dimensional door open? - Thread 027

OnlineNews ^ | 01/29/2002 | Unknown

[acnielsen guy]

THREAD 027

Dregs and Flakes

Posts since 1/29/02 29,073

[Darksheare]

But I'm innocent I tell ya! Innocent! (Wearing striped outfit)
Okay, so some of my poetry and stories need to be chopped into smaller, more easily digested chunks...

[grannie9]

Yeah... like you.. You're a gastronomic catastrophy... ;)

You are not going to be our leader.. We need someone calm..serene..simple.. yet brave.. Not someone running around with weird hats and swworrds and stuff.. (and female ghosts chasing him for sex.)

[Kathleen]

I'm a goooood girl.... heh, heh, heh.....

rotfl..rotfl..you are the original "s", mentor to us all, author of the handbook and yet you can say this... did you happen to see any lightening bolts fly by when you hit "post" on that one?..lol.;-)

[Darksheare]

What fun would that be then? oIo

[grannie9]

I dunno... Are any of us up to "sharing" fun with you? That has to be one of the scariest thoughts I've ever had in my life.. 8(

You hush up about my moments and memoirs Kathleen.. You Plaster Caster..you...

[Darksheare]

Awww... Come on. It's not so terrifying!
Just because I....

*Bizzzz Static*

.. and that's the only way to get out of there in one piece. Hope you remember that when the time comes.


Where was I?
Oh yes....
He strapped his weapons to himself with quiet care. He'd chosen his target with ease, and for maximum psychological impact. His weapons were also chosen with the same goal in mind. His targets would be so demoralised by this. A final check, and he was ready.

It was an excercise/health food bar combo. He strode into the front door and went to the desk.
"Do you have a membership?" the hulking muscle bound woman behind the desk sonorised at him. He smiled in return.
"I have my membership right here." and he opened his jacket. The amazonian door maid ran for her life screaming in abject terror. Good, warn them all he was here. Let's see the looks on their faces as he makes them cringe. He'd never hear the words 'shorty' and 'geek' again! Effortlessly he strode into the main hall to his objective. An aerobics dance lesson was going on. They were as oblivious to his presence as grazing yaks in tight spandex. He stood among them, as ignored as an oxpecker in the Sahara.
"Look at me and fear!" he screamed as he showed what he had as a weapon.
The whole crowd screamed in terror and cringed in the corner.
"No! No! It's horrible! Get away from me!" one extremely sculpted beauty quailed out from her spot in a cubbyhole.
"I am everything you fear! Sugar, Chocolate! CHOLESTEROL!!!!!" he then threw his payload around the room, burgers, fries, choclates. It was the most horrible thing that any of them had ever seen.
"My heart is gonna explode! AUGH!" a corporate exec went into instant cardiac distress just from the thought of being in the same room as the burgers. The terror was complete. He only had to fear being mobbed by the dietarians. He was on his way out when he felt the floor trembling. He ran faster. He wasn't fast enough! The stampede caught up with him, and his coat was ripped off, it's contents devoured, his body trampled by various weighted people who just couldn't resist the temptation of his terror weapons......

[Kathleen]

But Gran, you taught me everything I know..;-)

Okay, I'll hush up for now. :-0)

[Darksheare]

That's not very sporting.
;-)

[lodwick]

You and I stopped at the same page - I go back and check out the rest of it when I can have a stiff drink in hand.

On a "makes one wonder" note: my father-in-law's old schnauzer who had been wasting away and pining for his master, will be reunited with him across the rainbow bridge this afternoon.

[grannie9]

Sad to hear about the dog too Loddy.. Is everything over now, or is there one more day to go?

[grannie9]

LOL LOL.. Boy, am I glad I never attend those classes..and you should be too. Imagine if I ever got my taloned claws on you? I would rip you to shreds for a slice of Watermelon, never mind a Cheeseburger.. ;)

[acnielsen guy]

Sorry to hear about the loss of the father-in-law´s dog -- they are so much part of family it is heartbreaking when they go. I still remember our little fellow Tristan.

[Darksheare]

Now that would be a fascinating sport.
*Larf! Chuckle*

Not that I've ever tormented people going to aerobics classes, mind you. Or that I can eat anything I want and not gain a pound. (Sometimes a real pain... !/*-[)

[Darksheare]

*Tip of a hat*
About all I can say.

[Kathleen]

Oh Loddy how sad. The only consolation is that they'll be reunited again.

[Kathleen]

Not someone running around with weird hats and swworrds and stuff..

I missed this...from a woman who once posted a pic of a "pirate" complete with wonder woman outfit, nun headgear and a sword..lol. ;-)

[lodwick]

Thanks guys, we've got the public reception/viewing this afternoon and the services/interment tomorrow. Xanax and gin are carrying me through.

[lodwick]

Mark Twain, or somebody, once observed that if pets weren't in heaven - he didn't want to go. ;-)

[Kathleen]

I believe that they're waiting for us there, Loddy. You take care and try to stay strong.

[grannie9]

Hey.. it was a bad eye day.. The patch over my missing eye kept slipping into my other eye..

I think I do pretty well, woman, with all the parts I have missing.. Gif. me a break.. I need coffee now.. I have to try and fit it in before the cocktail... ;))))