Posted on 11/22/2025 4:04:32 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum
LANSING, MI — Local mom Janet Fields has continued her decades-long tradition of making cranberry sauce for no one to eat.
Despite no one remotely considering touching the cranberry dish for the past thirty years of Thanksgiving dinner, Fields remains undeterred.
"Ope! Can't forget the cranberry sauce," said Fields as she began the feast preparations. "Wouldn't be Thanksgiving without cranberry sauce, you know. I love the color it adds to the table, it's so bright and festive. Mm, that smell! You know, I don't actually care for cranberry sauce myself, but it's part of the tradition and it's always gone the next day. Did you know cranberries have flavonoids?"
According to sources, no one in the Fields family has ever eaten a cranberry willingly. "I still do not know what cranberry sauce is made of, and I don't want to know," said Mark Fields. "There is something unholy about fruit that takes the shape of an aluminum can. Yet, there is something weirdly comforting about knowing it will always be there."
At publishing time, Fields had also set out some white turkey meat in case anyone preferred white meat.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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It’s good for you, too.
That sounds wonderful!
Cranberry sauce,homemade,is fabulous,just the right flavour when eating a starchy turkey meal with all the trimmings....afterwards, add it to a fresh fruit salad or to baked goods for a added touch.
Just like the buffalo where the wolves pick off the slow and weak, this speeding up the herd, my brain works faster when the slow cells are killed. (Paraphrased from Cliff in Cheers)
Exactly....after Thanksgiving if they have cranberries on discount I buy many bags freeze them and make juice as needed.
Waist deep in water in November. Fine motor skills suffer....
My wife insists on the weird jelly stuff in a can. I hate cranberries in any form, so I don’t eat any.
I make the same recipoe for fresh cranberry sauce and they can’t get enough of it. And I also serve refrigerated Ocean Spray jellied cranberry sauce and there is never a speck of it left.
Things we do with leftover whole berry cranberry sauce:
1. Heat it up and serve over vanilla ice cream.
2. Heat it up and serve with sour cream to fill fresh made crepes.
3. Heat it up and serve with whipped cream to top waffles.
4. Add some to the morning oatmeal.
5. Heat it up and serve over fresh hot pancakes.
Enjoy!
Funny article, but I keep several cans of cranberry sauce on hand. I get a craving for it several times a year.
Mrs. BlackElk would make homemade cranberry sauce that was just fine. BlackElk (RIP) himself preferred the canned Ocean Spray stuff. On these sorts of things she would tease him for being a Philistine on these matters.
You and me against the world
I love cranberry sauce and fruitcake. I’m old.
I was 10years old, when my family visited the Ocean Spray Company outlet in Wareham, Mass. I had my first taste sample of company products and fell for both the juice and whole berry sauce.
It has been a pleasure to keep in the pantry and enjoy that precious stuff.
(fwiw, this one of the few fruit products I do not react to!)
This is such a reality, not sarcasm at all. Maybe not every time. But sometimes, there is always hope!
The can is designed to aid in creating this iconic sound!
“”will stick with the nice smoothness of the jelled version.””
For sure!! I remember my mother always making the “real” thing - using the food chopper (?) and making the cranberries pop was the best part of the preparation...but I never wanted to eat it - mixed with orange peel (?) etc.
It’s been so many years, I don’t even remember what those things were called - attached to the kitchen table by turning a handle to fasten it down???? Universal food chopper..according to google...
I must be really old because I’d love to have a good jam cake.
There is always one clueless family member you can’t count on. They need to understand others will not cater to them.
Sounds great!
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