Posted on 11/04/2024 4:04:49 PM PST by dynachrome
Following the public outcry about the state's Department of Environmental Conservation raiding a local man's home and euthanizing his pet squirrel who had hundreds of thousands of social media followers, New York authorities announced Peanut the squirrel had died of COVID-19.
Officials revealed Peanut's cause of death in an effort to calm the backlash that resulted from what many people have labeled a blatant example of government overreach and misaligned priorities.
"We're saddened to announce that COVID-19 has claimed yet another victim," Governor Kathy Hochul told reporters. "An autopsy conducted yesterday revealed Peanut's caretakers had evidently failed to administer the latest vaccine booster, making it all but a guarantee that Peanut would die from COVID, as all living creatures do."
A source within the DEC corroborated the report and placed the blame squarely on the shoulders of Donald Trump's MAGA supporters. "It's a shame to see such needless loss of life," the insider said. "If Peanut had been taking the proper precautions — staying up-to-date on boosters, wearing his tiny mask, practicing social distancing from other squirrels — this would not have happened.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
If the squirrel had just gotten one more vaxx they would be alive today.
Source: CDC.
Lol.
LOCK
THEM
ALL
UP.
FROM
STEM
TO STERN.
Bwahahahahaha
That is as stupid as it is funny.
I think the vax damaged his poor little rodent heart.
Yeah I trust the CDC. 😆
Knowing NYS and its history.........
Lordy how I love The Bee
Another reminder of how bad things have gotten - I thought this was really non-parody until I double checked the byline.
OMG....I burst out laughing...I’m alone in the woods..no one heard me.
Cuomo to attend his funeral.
The truth is that Peanut is still alive. They changed it’s name to Walznut, gave it covid and they’re taking it on a tour of NYS assisted care facilities to entertain the elderly.
We hear you. And now the whole world will hear you!
Peanut’s burial will be heavily attended 🥜 🥜 🥜.
p
Perfect.
snicker
If, sometime down the road, I should hear that Cuomo or Hochul got the David Patterson treatment, I wouldn’t be too upset.
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