Posted on 04/21/2024 6:46:48 PM PDT by DoodleBob
Ah, the office – a place where language goes to get dressed in a suit and tie, only to trip over its own shoelaces. Here are 21 phrases that we’ve all heard ad nauseam, and if we’re being honest, wouldn’t miss if they were banished from the corporate lexicon forever:
#1. “Touch Base”
Because nothing says “I don’t actually play baseball” like using a sports metaphor to schedule a meeting.
#2. “Reach Out”
What are we, in a 90s boy band? Just say “I’ll send you an email” and leave the emotional ballads out of it.
#3. “Circle Back”
Less reminiscent of a productive workplace strategy, more an endless loop of doom where nothing ever gets resolved.
#4. “Synergize”
The verbal equivalent of a corporate trust fall. It’s supposed to mean teamwork but sounds more like a new age retreat.
#5. “Think Outside the Box”
If we had a nickel for every time this was said, we could construct a very large, very square box to trap the phrase in forever.
#6. “Leverage”
Originally a physics term, now just a fancy way of saying “use.” Because why use simple words when you can sound like a Wall Street tycoon?
#7. “Paradigm Shift”
Nothing quite like invoking the cosmos to describe changing the office printer.
#8. “Deep Dive”
Not a thrilling ocean adventure, but an overly long meeting about statistics. Bring a snorkel.
#9. “Bandwidth”
Unless you work at NASA, you’re probably just talking about time. Spoiler: nobody’s downloading you.
#10. “Low-Hanging Fruit”
Great for describing apples, less so for the easily achievable tasks that somehow still aren’t done.
#11. “Move the Needle”
Unless we’re all suddenly DJs, can we agree to just say “make progress”?
#12. “Boil the Ocean”
An epic quest to accomplish the impossible, or just corporate speak for trying to do way too much? You decide.
#13. “Take it Offline”
Because apparently, talking in person is now akin to being in airplane mode.
#14. “Win-Win Situation”
A mythical scenario, much like a unicorn, where everyone is happy and nobody’s spreadsheet gets rejected.
15. “On My Radar”
Unless you’re air traffic control, let’s stick to “I’m aware of it.”
#16. “Ping Me”
Not a game of table tennis, just a request for a message. Sadly, paddles are not involved.
#17. “Drill Down”
A phrase that makes you feel like you’re in for some serious dental work, rather than a closer look at the details.
#18. “Game Changer”
Overused to the point of meaninglessness. Changing the game or just changing the PowerPoint template?
#19. “At the End of the Day”
Spoiler: It’s night. Also, a filler phrase that’s the verbal equivalent of shrugging.
#20. “It’s on My Plate”
Because “I’m working on it” wasn’t foodie enough.
#21. “Ecosystem”
Unless we’re discussing the rainforest, can we agree our office plant doesn’t constitute an ecosystem?
So, next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases, take a moment to laugh, then say what you mean. After all, clear communication is the key to success, not the ability to speak in buzzwords.
Israelis use an expression that means ‘grinding water’.
How about, “...reinvent the wheel...”?
So you're the one who came up with, "Let's run it up the flagpole and see who salutes."
Shame, shame...
May I suggest: I get it. I really do. and First a little housekeeping.
Thank you.
I can’t believe I never heard that song or saw the video.
I knew Weird Al was a national treasure.
This song proves he’s a genius.
None of these bothered me when I was working as much as turning a noun into a verb or vice versa, as in “What’s the ask?” Or “can you whiteboard that?”
LOL!
Would also add "making the sausage" and "ideate."
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That’s an improvement over what passes for office apparel in some places.
Some folks look like they’re heading to a barbecue.
Proactive........
I believe “crack” is slang adapted from England.
It does mean “really good.”
The whole reason for using these words is that they are so amorphous and weaselly.
They allow one to “pivot” while being able to claim later that is what they wanted to do in the first place.
Since then I have, perhaps unfairly, equated anyone who uses those words with people who may be able to make money but have no control over their spending.
I've found almost without exception the person who asks "what's the ask?" is simply ignorant. They're an actor pretending they know what's going on.
I am grateful they announce their ignorance. I write them off immediately.
“The great is the enemy of the good.”
Or vice versa
I don’t watch tv voluntarily but am often subjected to it, and I’ve noticed that people who make a living by talking, talk in chunks. The other day, someone on Fox delivered herself of three trite expressions in one sentence.
“ My bad “ drives me nuts..
……..
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