Posted on 04/21/2024 6:46:48 PM PDT by DoodleBob
Ah, the office – a place where language goes to get dressed in a suit and tie, only to trip over its own shoelaces. Here are 21 phrases that we’ve all heard ad nauseam, and if we’re being honest, wouldn’t miss if they were banished from the corporate lexicon forever:
#1. “Touch Base”
Because nothing says “I don’t actually play baseball” like using a sports metaphor to schedule a meeting.
#2. “Reach Out”
What are we, in a 90s boy band? Just say “I’ll send you an email” and leave the emotional ballads out of it.
#3. “Circle Back”
Less reminiscent of a productive workplace strategy, more an endless loop of doom where nothing ever gets resolved.
#4. “Synergize”
The verbal equivalent of a corporate trust fall. It’s supposed to mean teamwork but sounds more like a new age retreat.
#5. “Think Outside the Box”
If we had a nickel for every time this was said, we could construct a very large, very square box to trap the phrase in forever.
#6. “Leverage”
Originally a physics term, now just a fancy way of saying “use.” Because why use simple words when you can sound like a Wall Street tycoon?
#7. “Paradigm Shift”
Nothing quite like invoking the cosmos to describe changing the office printer.
#8. “Deep Dive”
Not a thrilling ocean adventure, but an overly long meeting about statistics. Bring a snorkel.
#9. “Bandwidth”
Unless you work at NASA, you’re probably just talking about time. Spoiler: nobody’s downloading you.
#10. “Low-Hanging Fruit”
Great for describing apples, less so for the easily achievable tasks that somehow still aren’t done.
#11. “Move the Needle”
Unless we’re all suddenly DJs, can we agree to just say “make progress”?
#12. “Boil the Ocean”
An epic quest to accomplish the impossible, or just corporate speak for trying to do way too much? You decide.
#13. “Take it Offline”
Because apparently, talking in person is now akin to being in airplane mode.
#14. “Win-Win Situation”
A mythical scenario, much like a unicorn, where everyone is happy and nobody’s spreadsheet gets rejected.
15. “On My Radar”
Unless you’re air traffic control, let’s stick to “I’m aware of it.”
#16. “Ping Me”
Not a game of table tennis, just a request for a message. Sadly, paddles are not involved.
#17. “Drill Down”
A phrase that makes you feel like you’re in for some serious dental work, rather than a closer look at the details.
#18. “Game Changer”
Overused to the point of meaninglessness. Changing the game or just changing the PowerPoint template?
#19. “At the End of the Day”
Spoiler: It’s night. Also, a filler phrase that’s the verbal equivalent of shrugging.
#20. “It’s on My Plate”
Because “I’m working on it” wasn’t foodie enough.
#21. “Ecosystem”
Unless we’re discussing the rainforest, can we agree our office plant doesn’t constitute an ecosystem?
So, next time you catch yourself using one of these phrases, take a moment to laugh, then say what you mean. After all, clear communication is the key to success, not the ability to speak in buzzwords.
Plow The Sea sounds like a helpful advisory for certain pro-palestinian troublemakers.
I’ll add one- “ keep it on the down low”, for “ don’t tell anyone”…..
most of these are old phrases. The new one is “double click”, meaning to cover a topic in more detail.
So you’re an ageist? Your parents must be so proud.
I think “boil the ocean” is a more recent cliche. Probably only 10 to 15 years old. I think the management consultants made it semi-popular.
NOT a name for a movie:
Back to the Going Forward
- - -
My parents can’t even keep up.
Old folks just can’t.
And I make over 5 times more than my WWII vet Grandpa (who had over 8 medals).
He was a failure in my book FWIW.
My real dad is proud :)
Yes, “my friend”
Utilize
These are all suitable to fill in squares on your BS Bingo card.
Your hypothesis is just plain nuts.
I’m 73. Most of this lazy-man’s crap was around 40 years ago. Some slight variations, to be sure, but there’s no doubt none of this is new. And us old-timers hated it back then, too.
Can’t stand “reach out” but a few of these are useful shorthands IMO.
It’s fairly common.
Not a single mention of, “Table it for now.” Hmmmm...
It’s been replaced with “put it on the back burner.” :-)
Wow, not judgmental much, are you? Who needs a Fifth Commandment, anyway?
Instant oh-shut up thoughts in my head when someone says that.
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