Posted on 06/10/2005 6:01:56 AM PDT by Fierce Allegiance
TheBigB has given me the go-ahead to put up this weeks OFST. Thanks, B! Hurry back!
Last week we had some rough spots, so R-Q-TEK86 had the following ground-rules suggestion for this weeks thread:
By entering this silly thread, I promise to…
Honor the spirit of silliness. Eat Spam, eggs, Spam, Spam and Spam. Not ask to see any of Jersey Republican Biker Chick’s body parts. Stand on my desk, flap my arms and make sounds like a chicken. Spew milk through my nose at something ArGee posts. Make at least one blonde joke. Post a joke that makes people groan. Ponder the question “Is ‘Civil Engineer’ an oxymoron?” Try to solve the mystery of who ctlpdad really is. Make a reference to AYBABTU. Disavow everything that Howard Dean stands for. Post a “Pearls Before Swine” cartoon (Dog Gone only). Make the guy in the next cubicle wonder what’s so funny. Post a picture of my favorite refreshing beverage. Quack like the Aflac duck. Not post gratuitous cheesecake or beefcake pictures. Tell JimWforBush a joke about engineers. Make a pun. Use “series” instead of “serious” and “hugh” instead of “huge”. Ask r-q-tek86 if all architects are gay. Stand facing the back of the elevator on the way back from lunch. Post a picture that made me snort the first time I saw it. Do a silly walk. Make an obscure reference to “Young Frankenstein”. Ignore this thread.
Subject: Dress Code for Us
Many of us (those over 40, way over 40 or hovering near 40) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We're unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to the current fashions.
Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedo's and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
And last, but not least...my personal favorite:
13. Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.
Have you traced your roots?
(snicker)
:)
Top Ten Reasons To Date An Engineer
10. Complimentary Tutoring
9. Large Earning Potential
8. Can handle stress and strain relationships
7. Knows all about the dynamics of relative motion
6. Learn about the benefits of friction and viscosity
5. FREE body diagrams
4. Always back up their hard drives
3. Trained to do it right the first time
2. Specialized in experimentation
-And the number one reason to date an engineer...
The world DOES revolve around us; we pick the coordinate system.
LOL!!!
I'm the anti-blonde blonde - if you are to believe the jokes...
A REALLY PUNNY SMART BLONDE!!!!
Maybe we should bronze me?
;-)
Unbuttoned Disco shirts and Speedos should be avoided, regardless.
Hear hear!
Bygones, you officially have permission, blessing, and authorization to be bygones. Whatever else it was that someone was forcing you to be - they must now cease and desist from forcing you to be anything else. Anyone who has any problem letting said bygones be bygones will have to answer to me, FA, PB, RKT, DD, BB, and we ask TOUGH questions, let me tell you.
Just out of curiosity, what do people usually try to make bygones be, anyway? Hicomes?
Shalom.
Umm... is that you Dilly?
LOL!! What's that?!
Nope, it wasn't you. Besides, I would never punch a female. LADYJAg doean't qualify.
Okay, I'm scared now
Dasher said, "He's waiting for me to come over and shave him....."
JRBC says, "I like it rough!! Bring it on Howie!"
If my math skills are up to snuff, 7 cows.
7 cows + 2 chickens = 32 legs and 9 heads (9*2 + 14)
7 cows + 7 chickens = 42 legs and 14 heads (14*2 + 14)
Interesting enough, the number of chickens is meaningless.
A Chinese couple gets married, and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My daring," he says, "I know dis you fus time and you berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting jus anyting you wan, you say. Watchou wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan...numba 69." More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries, "You wan...beef with brocceri?"
Those are good.
There was a little girl
Who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good
She was very, very good
But when she was bad she was better.
Shalom.
It's not a bald spot, it's a solar panel for a sex machine.
Well, I guess we COULD....
if you're into Heavy Metal!
:-P
(grin)
Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together.
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