My dear Mr. President, I've just finished reading the formerly top-secret, classified CIA memos detailing interrogation techniques used in the aftermath of 9/11. And frankly, Barry honey, I'm shocked. Positively shocked that any President of the U.S.A. would make such documents public knowledge. As a mother, who has invested blood, sweat, tears and every last vestige of my natural hair color into raising my children, I am appalled at the apparent casualness with which you are handling your #1 duty, protecting the lives of American citizens. At this very minute, I'm considering forming a new organization, Mothers Against Wimpy Defense....