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Late Night TV in the Year 2030 by Watchdog Writer INT. KITCHEN - MORNING A MOTHER is preparing breakfast for her family. She is dressed only in a house coat. MOTHER Tin breakfast is ready! (beat) Are you coming down? CHASTITY (O.S.) Coming mother. The Daughter enters the kitchen. : Pink and blue spiked hair, a ring through her nose, and several more on her ears. She's wearing black leather pants, jacket with a multitude of studs. MOTHER Is your father ready:? CHASTITY He's still shaving. MOTHER Ok, well start eating. He'll just have to take his coffee and drink...

Links between baseball and the Bible/Christianity: --Strange resemblance between Johnny Damon of the World Champion Red Sox and a certain Saviour --Doesn't the Good Book begin with "in the big inning..."? :) --A Balt. Oriole to then-manager Earl Weaver: "Coach, would you like to walk with the Lord and me today?" Weaver: "Son, I'd rather you walk with the bases loaded." --Song "The Ball Game" by Sister Winona Carr. It's on one of the "Baseball's Greatest Hits" compilations: Life is a ballgame Bein' played each day Life is a ballgame Everybody can play Jesus is standin' at home plate Waitin'...

BILL GATES' 11 RULES THAT STUDENTS DO NOT LEARN IN SCHOOL In Bill Gates' new book (Business @ The Speed of Thought), he lays out 11 rules that students do not learn in high school or college, but should. He argues that our feel-good, politically-correct teachings have created a generation of kids with no concept of reality who are set up for failure in the real world. RULE 1 - Life is not fair; get used to it. RULE 2 - The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good...

THERE OUGHTA BE A LAW O'Reilly's law of the kitchen: Cleanliness is next to impossible. Lieberman's law: Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens. Denniston's law: Virtue is its own punishment. Gold's law: If the shoe fits, its ugly. Conway's law: In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what is going on. This person should be fired. Finster's law: A closed mouth gathers no feet. Lynch's law: When the going gets tough, everyone leaves. Muir's law: When we try to separate anything out by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the...

The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogen and Stupidity. (not necessarily in that order) If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. He who hesitates is probably right. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. No one is listening until you make a mistake. Finding a job is easy, if you already have one. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. To steal ideas...

What is wrong with John McLaughlin? He just pronounced Hans Blix the most honest person of the year and Tereza the most underrated.

Vanity: An Open Message to the Republican Party Cheerleaders on this Forum...

Rush has spent the last several minutes likening Bush to Nixon. Nixon gave us OSHA and the EPA. Bush is giving us Prescription Medicine benefits for seniors. Rush says the Republican party cannot claim to be the party of smaller government. This sounds likme the OLD Rush of 10 years ago! Go Get Em Rush!