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The Vatican announced this week that Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich has been selected to be Pope Francis’ successor after the 79-year-old pontiff hits the age of retirement next year. Cupich told worshipers yesterday that he was “so very grateful and humbled by the news that he would be given the opportunity to wreak havoc upon the Church while wearing white.” Cupich, 67, will receive his “white hat” in Rome on December 18, 2017, the day after Pope Francis turns 80. Cupich’s succession to the papacy also means he will have his choice of who will succeed him in the future....

CDC director Tom Frieden warned today of a possible cholera epidemic in the U.S. Frieden had originally thought that the cholera was related to the Zika mosquitoes and limited to Florida but CDC investigators proved otherwise. CDC investigators identified hundreds of cholera cases in Illinois with Chicago being the center of the outbreak. Investigators determined that 40 Haitian men were bused in from Florida to vote. The Haitians were part of a program by the Obama Administration to accelerate the nationalization program for thousands of Haitian refugees before the election. It was determined that the men were promised by local...

Today, in an exclusive interview with Alt-Right investigative reporters, Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor expressed her regret about the baseball bat statement concerning deceased SC Justice Antonin Scalia. She expressed regret that the Obama Administration had taken him out before she could get to him with her favorite custom made "Raptor" baseball bat. She had dreamt of the day she would catch him alone behind the Supreme Court where she would kneecap him first and then use Raptor to deliver the final killing blows when he begged for mercy. She stated that she had a visceral hate for him because...

America just found out Trump isn't perfect. Wait... I thought we already knew that...?

The Clinton Global Crime Initiative Foundation is calling for donations for the hurricane that will be hitting Haiti in near future. The hurricane is expected to be at least a Cat 4 which will produce a huge amount of damage and suffering which will provide an excellent fund raising opportunity. Bill and Chelsea are soliciting the donations for disaster relief in advance of the hurricane hitting the island to get a jump on the situation. Bill stated that the foundation had missed out on billions in donations in the last disaster to hit Haiti because the earthquake was unexpected. Other...

Where is Lester Holt? He has been missing from the NBC Evening News for over a week. Savanah Guppie has been ordered to fill in for the nightly news cast in his absence. Guppie fearfully stated that Holt was at home writing questions for the debate. Guppie would not elaborate because she was fearful that any unapproved response might subject her to the same PC crucifixion that had been visited upon her co-host Matt Liar. Alt-Right investigative reporters have learned from a source within the Clinton campaign staff that Holt is being covertly driven to the Clinton compound daily. The...

Today the President of Mexico, Penis Nieto, stated that Mexico would build a wall ... not one, but two and they would pay for them validating Trump and punking Vicente Fox the has been former President of Mexico. One wall would be built on the Southern border to keep out the hordes of illegal immigrants from Ecuador, Honduras, Costa Rica, and other Southern 3rd world countries. Nieto described the influx like a plague of locusts economically devouring everything in their path. The second wall would be built on the Northern border to stem the tide of the projected million US...

The Alt-Right Breitbart media today punked 60 Minutes, the self-acclaimed king of investigative reporting, by reporting the details of the Administration's 1.2 billion dollar payoff to Iran. Taunting Scott Pelley and Charlie Rose, Breitbart released the details of the investigation of the shady and illegal transfer of 1.2 billion dollars to Iran. Intrepid Breitbart reporters discovered that HSBC, the first choice laundromat of money laundering for cartels, foundations, etc., was used by the US Treasury to launder the money. Although Iran was alleged to not have a bank account, an Iranian account was miraculously discovered at Wells Fargo into which...

Here's a quick look at the Hillary Clinton Administration. Missing for 16 years, dishes, silver and furnishings are discovered in the WH. Employees and guests will have to use port-a-potties located behind the WH because WH ground floor bathrooms have been converted to house WH E-mail servers. HSBC to be contracted to operate all of the WH laundry operations. AG LA Lynch's office moved to a refurbished C-130 on the tarmac of the Phoenix airport with a B of A branch office located within to support financial transactions. Goldman Sachs contracted to run the Treasury Department which will eliminate the...

Trump says 'of course I'm being sarcastic' with comment about Russian hackers looking for Hillary's emails Republican nominee insists he was not being serious when he seemed to invite Russia to scour for 33,000 emails Hillary Clinton ordered deleted He had said Wednesday: 'Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing' Trump insisted Thursday that the Democratic Party's other email scandal – 20,000 hacked messages published by WikiLeaks – is the real story 'This is now an issue of national security,' said a breathless Robby Mook, who runs Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign...

Here's my favorite speeches so far from the RNC convention: Mitt Romney (I'd pick Ryan again - and again) George W. Bush (I gave Barry the best intro I could!) George HW Bush (Ha! Fooled you twice! - None of us Bushes would EVER be like Reagan!) John McCain (Hillary is a nice woman - just like Barry is a nice man)

Pope Francis: Good morning, everyone. Thank you for coming. I have invited you today because I have had a change of heart that I must make public. In a homily recently, I spoke rather forcefully about employers who refuse to pay their workers a just wage. I have had a chance to reflect on that homily in the light of the principles I set forth in my Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia. I brought a copy so I can refer to it as I take your questions. Please be patient with me as I find the appropriate passages, eh? I believe...

Pedophile Airways and Island Resort announced today that it has reduced its prices and will give "double miles" to increase traffic to the resort. Double miles may be earned at any retail store or public educational facility operating under President Obama's "anything goes bathroom rules". Dreaming of a get away with that 12 year old boy or girl? Why while away the hours at the NSA, DEA, BLM, EPA, BLS, etc. watching child porn when you can be on a plane and in the action within hours. Many payment plans are available. Can't spend those kickbacks from the BLM job......

"I have a little announcement to make ... I'm voting for Hillary. I am endorsing Hillary," noted conservative author P.J. O'Rourke said on NPR's Wait Wait ... Don't Tell Me. The episode aired over the weekend.

Today the Obamas were named in a civil suit filed in Washington, D.C. by civil rights lawyers of the firm S. Lash, Burns, & Cheatem. The plaintiff (name withheld) is an underage Lesbian white Hispanic Dreamer who was publicly bullied when she asked the older Obama daughter out to the Prom. The Obama daughter not only rejected the date but made a vocal public display of the rejection. It is alleged that Mr. Obama threatened the "immigrant/refugee" family with deportation if they didn't hush the girl up. Unconfirmed sightings of "Fast & Furious" DOJ and BATF agents were rumored to...

Martha Minow, Dean of the Harvard Law School and National Director of the Association of Law School Deans, announced today the outsourcing of all Law Professor, Associate Law Professor, and Teaching Assistants positions at all of the Ivy League Universities, major West Coast Universities and major community colleges such as the University of Chicago Law School. Ms. Minow stated the prime factor in the outsourcing was economics. Indian, Pakistani, or Indonesian teachers could be hired under the H1-B program at a fraction of the inflated costs of homegrown professors. Each H1-B teacher could replace up to 10 professors and assistants...

Some funny stuff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJb208g8gFI

I know she has her fans (I was among them once upon a time), but this is just the truth...