The last major revolution exploded on Jan. 9, 2007. Like all good revolutionaries, the brain trust behind this one announced its intention to “reinvent” the status quo, or go bankrupt trying. It promised a “phenomenal” and “awesome” change. The revolution would not just seize the zeitgeist but also bring mankind to its long-awaited, “truly remarkable” utopia, which every previous revolutionary had failed to deliver. “So after today,” Steve “Nostradamus” Jobs predicted, “we are not going to look at these phones quite the same way again.” Robespierre, Trotsky, and Guevara are all now drooling with jealousy down in hell. Jobs’ handheld...