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For whatever the reason, celebrities lead interesting lives that most of us can't even fathom (or would want to.) But how many of us have had the opportunity to meet someone famous, witness someone famous doing something outrageous or knows someone who has and would like to share that experience......here. My only experience was when I was 19 and in Aspen for the weekend. I was waiting for my family in the lobby of the Hotel Jerome and Arnold Swartzenegger came in. He gave me the up/down look and smiled (MUCH has changed since then!) Then Maria walked in and...

OK, hopeless vanity. Did a thread like this a while back and it didn't last long. Fantasy News Headlines from the future:

Your standard of living improves when you go camping. Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens. You have jacked up your home to look for a dog. You have a relative living in your garage. There is a belch on your answering machine greeting. You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode. None of the tires on your van are the same size. Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade. Your local beauty salon also fixes cars. Starting your car involves popping the hood. Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays. You've...

BOULDER, Colo. -- The principal at a Boulder high school said that he has identified one suspect in a senior prank that involved live chickens and is looking for others involved in the fowl deed. School officials found 39 chickens dressed in red vests and capes running in the halls of Fairview High School Tuesday morning. With the help of police and students, the birds were herded into the vice principal's office until the Humane Society of Boulder could take them to the shelter. The head of the Humane Society told the Boulder Daily Camera that the incident shows that...

Chris Rock's view of patriotic Americans: "Weird white guys getting overly patriotic, with their f-ing flag hats on," Rock said. "I am not scared of al Qaeda, I am scare of f-ing al Cracker." Cracker: A derogatory term used to typically describe poor southern whites, sometimes used to refer to white slavemasters or overseers.

CANNES — The last episode of the seminal sci-fi saga "Star Wars" screened at the Cannes film festival Sunday, completing a six-part series that remains a major part of popular culture — and delivering a galactic jab to U.S. President George W Bush. "Star Wars: Episode III — Revenge of the Sith" was seen ahead of a celebrity-laden evening screening to be attended by its creator and director, George Lucas, and its cast, including Natalie Portman and Hayden Christensen. Reaction at advance screenings was effusive, with festival-goers, critics and journalists at Cannes applauding at the moment the infamous Darth Vader...

Alvy, founder of PABAAH.com, is slated to appear on "ABC World News Tonite with Peter Jennings" tonite(Wednesday 5/18/05 6:30PM EST). Topic: Reaction to George Lucas and his anti-Americanism at the Cannes Film Festival and subsequent boycott of all things Lucas. Perhaps Mr. Lucas can cite one freedom he's lost?

The White House Correspondents Dinner might sound like a gray and boring journalistic event, but for Washingtonians, it's becoming Hollywood Night. Among the celebrities attending this year's D.C. dinner were Richard Gere, Elisabeth Shue, Dennis Hopper and Jane Fonda. First Lady Laura Bush drew rave reviews from the pundits for her comedic routine playing on ABC's trashy new hit "Desperate Housewives." Mrs. Bush joked that she not only watched the show, but she was a "desperate housewife" who took Mrs. Cheney, Condoleezza Rice and Karen Hughes to see male strippers at Chippendales, where they stuff dollar bills in the dancers'...

U.S. COAST GUARD ENLISTMENT OATH "I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES COAST GUARD because I know being in the real military scares me. However, I swear to defend our position as the fifth branch of the Armed Services, although at one point we were under the Department of Homeland Security. I understand that atleast twice a day, someone will refer to me a member of the Air Force or Navy, and when I correct them, they will question my military status. I will work on boats the size of...

In a time when George W. Bush’s first-term cabinet has dissolved in a rash of resignations, the President has taken an ambitious step toward his goals for his second term. On Tuesday, Bush announced the addition of a new cabinet-level position within his administration: the Director of Eschatology and Rapture. The head of the new department will be Dr. Tim LaHaye, pastor and bestselling co-author of the Left Behind series. Speaking of the appointment, Bush said, “I figured, Timmy’s done such a good job of making up an imaginary rapture, he’d be the best at coming up with the real...

Christmas Songs For The Mentally Disturbed SCHIZOPHRENIA Do you Hear What I Hear? MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER We Three Queens Disoriented Are DEMENTIA I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas NARCISSISTIC Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me MANIC Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and..... PARANOID Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me. PERSONALITY DISORDER You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell you Why. DEPRESSION Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All is Flat,...