Free Republic

Saugus, Massachusetts, Patrick Kenney Jr. was leaving Saugus' Kowloon Restaurant when according to authorities, Kenney fell and stabbed himself with his necklace knife. I'll repeat that just so we're clear. A necklace knife. That's a necklace with a knife hanging on it. Common sense and a minutiae of self-preservation makes it hard for me to believe such an accoutrement even exists in the world, but I checked. Amazon has dozens of these little death baubles for sale. Whoever invented these should get a visit from Will Smith. And the reason why they're a bad idea should now be obvious; you...

THIS year's Thanksgiving Day Parade brought us another "Miracle on 34th Street." Tethers from the "M&M's Chocolate Candies" balloon became entangled with a lamppost along the parade route — causing a 30-pound light to strike two sisters from Albany, Sarah Chamberlain, 11, and Mary, 26. Sarah required nine stitches to close a head wound. Mary, who uses a wheelchair, got a bump on the head. Then came the miracle: The girls' father, Stephen Chamberlain, noted that it was "a freak accident," said "accidents just happen" — and announced he had no intention of filing a lawsuit. Instead, he accepted Macy's...

Pregnant woman impaled on microphone stand 06/11/2003 Associated Press GREEN OAK TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A woman 81/2 months pregnant fell from a loft in her home Wednesday and was impaled on a microphone stand, police said. The 36-year-old woman was taken to a hospital. Her condition and that of her unborn child were not immediately released. She was in the second-story loft when she became dizzy and fell, crashing through a bannister, Police Chief Robert Brookins said. She fell onto the 3-foot microphone stand, which was amid musical instruments set up on the first floor, officials said. Green Oak Township...

Truck driver indicted in crash that killed DJ 05/20/2002 From Staff and Wire Reports A Dallas County grand jury has indicted the driver of a tractor-trailer rig that was involved in a freak accident last March that killed a radio station morning show host. Linden Berry, 40, was charged with negligent homicide. He faces six months to two years in jail if convicted. John LaBella Radio host John LaBella had just finished his morning shift at KMEO-FM (96.7) when the March accident occurred on Interstate 30. A portion of a forklift assembly atop the tractor-trailor catapulted onto the car...