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Can a non-believing misanthrope rest in peace? I hope so. For odd and comical reasons, all related to National Review, and my having lived for a few years in Fredericksburg, Virginia, my former neighbor, Florence King, and I became friends. Good and lifelong. Hers came to an end today, this morning, a day after she turned 80. Florence’s final years were tough ones — she battled a number of ailments (essentially alone but for Nick, her incredibly kind and attentive neighbor) which accumulated and compounded and took their slow toll.

I may disagree with what Ann Coulter says but I will defend to the death Oscar Wilde’s right to say it. Describing the same kind of widow that set Coulter off, he quipped: “Her hair turned quite gold from grief.” Wondering what life in America would be like if Coulter used a stiletto instead of a sledgehammer is a tempting but futile excursion into dreamland. Suppose, for example, she was confronted, like Jennie Churchill, with a pompous young man who boasted that his financée’s virtue was “priced above rubies.” Without missing a beat, Jennie said, “Try diamonds.” But if the...

I may disagree with what Ann Coulter says but I will defend to the death Oscar Wilde's right to say it. Describing the same kind of widow that set Coulter off, he quipped: "Her hair turned quite gold from grief." Wondering what life in America would be like if Coulter used a stiletto instead of a sledgehammer is a tempting but futile excursion into dreamland. Suppose, for example, she was confronted, like Jennie Churchill, with a pompous young man who boasted that his financée's virtue was "priced above rubies." Without missing a beat, Jennie said, "Try diamonds." But if the...

I MAY DISAGREE with what Ann Coulter says, but I will defend to the death Oscar Wilde's right to say it. Describing the same kind of widow that set Coulter off, he quipped: "Her hair turned quite gold from grief." Wondering what life in America would be like if Coulter used a stiletto instead of a sledgehammer is a tempting but futile excursion into dreamland. Suppose, for example, she were confronted--like Jennie Churchill, storied mother of Winston--with a pompous young man who boasted that his financee's virtue was "priced above rubies." Without missing a beat, Jennie said, "Try diamonds." But...

Ask the Monitor to describe the columnist Molly Ivins while standing on one foot and there would be no fumbling for words. Molly Ivins is a nasty piece of work. The rest is commentary. Ivins, a Texan who`s described herself as "a left-wing, aging Bohemian journalist," delivers her hard left views in prose distinguished by mean-spirited potshots marinated in a somewhat labored cornpone populism. According to the iconoclastic author Florence King, Ivins is a "professional Good Ole Girl....Watching her go through her paces is like watching Ona Munson, who played Belle Watling in ‘Gone With the Wind,` doing an imitation...

Fridays with Florence Parodic verses. EDITOR'S NOTE: Her creative juices gushing, Florence King wrote this delightful essay (for the September 26, 1994, issue of NR) taking on one of her favorite groups: lady novelists. Ayn Rand, Marguerite Duras, and Joan Didion all get the royal (King!) treatment. Enjoy! And after you do, come back here and consider further enjoyment, which is what you'll get from STET, Damnit, The Misanthrope's Corner, 1991 to 2002 — the complete, unedited, unabridged collection of Miss King's curmudgeonly NR columns. This big (518 pages!) beautiful book is a must for every Florence fan. It is...

BILL CLINTON laughed. He stood naked on a soft muddy hill. It swelled out around him, the body of the hill and the body of the man blending and merging into a triumph of man over nature. He was softer than the hill. He strode purposefully through the woods, his eyes fixed straight ahead, seeing nothing but the next election. He tried to clamp his lips shut with inflexible contempt but it was hard when you smiled all the time.

EDITOR'S NOTE: It was one of the Great Curmudgeon's best: her Campaign Diary recapping the goofiness on display at the last Democrat National Convention — from Bubba's pimp-rolling to Al and Tipper's lip-locking and all the foolishness in between. We dish it out again — reheated and tasting as just good as when first served in Miss King's September 25, 2000 entry for "The Misanthrope's Corner." And now that summer is in full swing, and your looking for the company of a good book as you sip your lemonade, we suggest you obtain the faithful collection of each and every...

THE MUD TURTLES PROGRESS The Education of a Woman: The Life of Gloria Steinem by Carolyn G. Heilbrun (Dial, 451 pp., $24.95) The parable of the mud turtle comes at the end of this hagiographic book, but it so perfectly illustrates the feminist blind spot of both biographer and subject that I shall start with it. Here is how Gloria Steinem claims she learned to respect the right to self-determination: During a science field trip in college, she found a turtle beside a road. Afraid that it would get run over, she picked it up and carried it back into...

E-mail Author Author Archive Send to a Friend Print Version July 02, 2004, 9:08 a.m. Conscience Claws Another Friday with Florence. EDITOR'S NOTE: "Conscience." It comes in many varieties, from guilty to clear. But in this wondrous November 27, 1995 edition of "The Misanthrope's Corner," our beloved Miss King discovers and dissects that one distinctly American version of the scruples bone: the rogue conscience. Words fail some of us, but, thankfully, they never fail Florence. This column is a hoot, and ends with a favorite observation from our Great Curmudgeon. You'll love it. Now the summer is upon us all,...

Recycling Madness Suffering from Marquand’s Aunt Syndrome. EDITOR'S NOTE: Herewith a King Klassic on the lunacies of recycling, from her May 3, 1999, "Misanthrope's Corner" column. Lady Florence fixes the Al Gorean sacrament atop the ash-heap of modern-day idiocies, charging that "The recycling movement has now passed through the cute good-citizen phase and progressed to the point where it is virtually impossible to throw anything out." It's a great and typically funny read (particularly Florence's recalling of the good old days of garbage disposal, when sane people stuffed furniture down the incinerator shaft). Enjoy! Also a great read is STET,...

“Fridays with Florence” America goes stark raving mealymouthed. By Florence King EDITOR'S NOTE: One thing (of the many things) that makes Florence mad is people refusing to get...mad. But what else can one expect in "Mealymouthed America, where even laxatives are gentle." This is one of Miss King's earliest NR contributions — from the December 3, 1991 issue — and we dare say one of her best. Of course, this column, and all of Miss King's delightful back-page oeuvre for National Review, can be found, and enjoyed, in STET, Damnit, The Misanthrope's Corner, 1991 to 2002, which is available only...

“Fridays with Florence” Miss King goes postal. EDITOR'S NOTE: Fed Ex, United Parcel Service, and you other modern corporate giants of swift delivery beware — Florence King loves the United States Postal Service. When America's reigning misanthrope gets all warm and fuzzy about something, especially about something as disdained as the USPS — as she in this July 26, 1999 curmudgeonly classic — all had better take note. Rest assured, you will find this product of Miss King's unique perspective (and immense literary talents) a sheer delight! Of course, this column, and all of Miss King's delightful back-page oeuvre for...

March 26, 2004, 8:59 a.m. Fridays with Florence Gay Marriage — a Dead Cert. EDITOR'S NOTE: Ever ahead of her time, Florence King weighed in on the "gay marriage" conflagration aways back — you'll find the pre-game run-down in the June 3, 1996 entry of her delightful NR column, "The Misanthrope's Corner." It, and hundreds of others of her side-splitting (and ever insightful!) rants and rages and unrivaled analyses of all the madness going on in Americrazy, is available and waiting for you in STET, Damnit, The Misanthrope's Corner, 1991 to 2002 — the complete, unedited, unabridged collection of Miss...

March 05, 2004, 9:36 a.m. Friday’s With Florence No Kid-ding. EDITOR'S NOTE: The Kingdom of Heaven may be unto them, but Florence King ain't buying. No siree, she does not like children. Let us repeat: She really does not like them. Want proof? Then plunge into this Misanthrope's Corner classic — first run in the December 11, 1995 edition of NR. See for yourself why the Great Misanthrope believes the word "child" and the phrase "shapeless, hairless, falsetto runt" are interchangeable. And when you're finished laughing, go ahead and get your copy of the complete, unedited, unabridged collection of Miss...

Fridays with Florence "Jeepers Keepers" By Florence King EDITOR'S NOTE: With Cupid up to his annual madness, who better to pick at marital bliss-ters than Florence King, who — in this November 10, 1997, curmudgeonly classic — waged war from behind the sandbags and parapets of "The Misanthrope's Corner," lobbing her literary grenades at the Promise Keepers, Southern Division (their ranks filled by countless dried-out good ol' boys named "Earl," who torment their wives after climbing on the wagon). You'll enjoy this. We promise. Of course, this column, and all of Miss King's side-splitting back-page oeuvre for National Review, can...

'Killing two birds with one stone" has been the guiding principle of the well-organized person from time immemorial, but, as with so much else dating from time immemorial, it is now more or less unconstitutional. Merely using the expression can get you in big trouble with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, but I'll have to take the chance. I'm pruning my Idea Files, but meanwhile I have a column due, so I decided to kill two birds with one stone and write about what I find so I can throw it out. When ordinary people make notes on...

January 30, 2004, 9:54 a.m. Fridays with Florence "Duh!" EDITOR'S NOTE: Oh, how we do miss "The Misanthrope's Corner" — like this February 5, 2001 beaut, in which the incomparable Florence King, savanting idiocy across the fruited plains, warns America that it is under attack — the Invasion of the Duh People! But will anyone listen! Of course, this column, and all of Miss King's curmudgeonly oeuvre for National Review, can be found, and enjoyed, in STET, Damnit, The Misanthrope's Corner, 1991 to 2002 here. The other day I made a phone call to reschedule an appointment with a new...

E-mail Author Author Archive Send to a Friend January 23, 2004, 9:26 a.m. Fridays with Florence The Great Girl. By Florence King EDITOR'S NOTE: Herewith a classic from the bulging files of "The Misanthrope's Corner." In this May 11, 1992 dandy, the incomparable Florence King takes a special look at the "Great Girl" prototype, as played by Hillary Clinton. Of course, this column, and all of Miss King's curmudgeonly oeuvre for National Review, can be found, and enjoyed, in STET, Damnit, The Misanthrope's Corner, 1991 to 2002, which is available only from NR. Order it securely here. The more things...

EDITOR'S NOTE: Herewith a classic from the bulging files of "The Misanthrope's Corner." In this May 11, 1992 dandy, the incomparable Florence King takes a special look at the "Great Girl" prototype, as played by Hillary Clinton. Of course, this column, and all of Miss King's curmudgeonly oeuvre for National Review, can be found, and enjoyed, in STET, Damnit, The Misanthrope's Corner, 1991 to 2002, which is available only from NR. Order it securely here. The more things change the more they remain the same. Hillary Clinton, that little female gnome standing next to Skeezix, that wolfish dominatrix of the...