NEW YORK, NY — After the firing of longtime contributor Scott Pelley due to ongoing conflicts with producers, the long-running CBS News program 60 Minutes began its search for a new pompous blowhard. Pelley's abrupt departure reportedly left the show shorthanded, leading producers and CBS executives to launch an immediate search to fill the void of an arrogant, disingenuous windbag the show needed to maintain its brand. "The show wouldn't be the same without at least one arrogant windbag," said Executive Producer Nick Bilton. "Now that we've parted ways with Scott, it's important for us to fill his role as...