Chances are, you're going to Hell, says a Bible scholar. "Ninety-nine out of 100 people are damned," says Jacob L. Pinewood, professor of divinity at Holy Moses College in Jarvis, Australia. "My research indicates God hates us. That's why He made His rules so ridiculous that the average person will never get into heaven." But you may be one of the lucky few, says Pinewood, author of the handy guide So, You're Going To Hell. According to Pinewood, if you answer: "I sayeth yes," to any of the following situations, you should pack for a warm climate when the Grim...