American conservatives love to imagine immigrants as secret Republicans desperate to flee the Democrat barrio. The fantasy goes something like this: “Immigrants are hard-working, God-fearing people who love America more than any native! We just need to stop being bigoted and speak to these people in Spanish.” This line has been propagated for as long as I’ve been alive. Despite the billions Republicans have spent on outreach, they only started doing well with immigrant communities when they were led by a guy who called them criminals and rapists. Can immigrants save America? The answer is obviously no. By any metric,...