"They'll take my Ultra Soft Charmin only when they pry it from my cold, dead, aloe-smelling hands." Highly doubtful it will come to that. Please, sit. We're talking about toilet paper. Charlton Heston's famous vow was of guns. The issue over tissue in the bathroom — the really super-soft stuff — is more like the fight about the big SUVs loved by many Americans. Anti-green, environmentalists say. Politically incorrect. Why should Americans use luxurious toilet paper made from old-growth trees when much of the world gets by with a far more basic and often recycled product? Why should we flush...