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Navy destroyer collides with building in downtown Houston [satire]
Duffleblog ^ | 29 Aug 2017

Posted on 08/29/2017 8:47:31 PM PDT by rey

HOUSTON — As if the city of Houston hasn’t seen enough tragedy due to catastrophic flooding from Hurricane Harvey, things took a turn for the worse today after a U.S. Navy ship collided with a building in the downtown area.

The ship was identified as an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer belonging to the Navy’s 7th Fleet.

It was unclear why the destroyer was not able to see the building and take evasive action, or why it was over 20 miles inland and trying to navigate through a major metropolitan area.

“I had climbed up on my roof due to dem risin’ flood waters, when I saw a big ship sailin’ down the street,” said Georgia Brown, a resident who witnessed the incident. “I says to myself ‘Oh Lawdy, someone’s done come to rescue us!’ and then it sails right past my house and smack straight into that yonder building.”

This marks the fifth collision incident this summer for destroyers from the Navy’s beleaguered 7th Fleet, following incidents involving the USS Fitzgerald, USS John S. McCain, and the USS Ted Kennedy.

The Navy declined to comment on the cause of the collision, citing an ongoing investigation, although it did say the captain had been promptly relieved of his command.

Despite reticence from the Navy, a senior defense official speculated the ship had likely veered off course from its patrol route in the South China Sea.

Navy officials say they are planning a number of PowerPoint trainings related to urban maritime navigation.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: crap; harvey; houston; notarealnewsoutlet; satier; satire; stupid; usnavy
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To: doorgunner69

The Chinese hacked the GPS and the building went off course and sent AIS signals showing it was a 30,000 T tanker.


41 posted on 08/29/2017 9:32:53 PM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: dragnet2

Yes, I agree.

The problems our Navy are experiencing right now are not fertile ground for levity.

We want our Navy to be in tip top shape. If anything this is cause for concern. The recent loss of ten sailors reminds me this isn’t subject matter for jokes.

Thanks for chiming in like that.


42 posted on 08/29/2017 9:35:08 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (Exempting Trump and his team, our media and government have adopted the Zoolander management style.)
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To: ETL

And then there’s the hall monitors who take it upon themselves to ruin a good thread by dissecting with illustrations an obviously illogical, impossible, could-never-happen-in-a-million-years story to save the ignorant who deserve scorn for their inability to think for themselves and accept at face value anything they read.

.


43 posted on 08/29/2017 9:35:47 PM PDT by Rebelbase (Tyranny can hide within decorum.)
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To: clintonh8r

That post is literally ass backwards.


44 posted on 08/29/2017 9:37:12 PM PDT by FredZarguna (And what Rough Beast, its hour come 'round at last, slouches toward Fifth Avenue to be born?)
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To: rey

Trump’s Fault


45 posted on 08/29/2017 9:37:47 PM PDT by McGruff (2017 or 1984?)
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To: ETL
As obvious as it is, we do always get some who fall for stuff like this. Then, even worse, they pass it on to their friends and relatives, who then pass it on. E-mail inboxes are full of nonsense stories like this.

A word about posting satire

No, FR is not trying to quash satire. However, it should be clearly labeled as such in the title. Some people seem to think it's great trickling our readers into falling for satire. It's not. A lot of people come to FR and scan the headlines clicking on articles of interest. If they're not familiar with the author or source, they may be misled and may even pass it on to others. No thanks.

——some "humor impaired" person

46 posted on 08/29/2017 9:43:51 PM PDT by Lonely Bull ("When he is being rude or mean it drives people _away_ from his confession and _towards_ yours.")
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To: Lonely Bull

Nobody is this humor impaired.


47 posted on 08/29/2017 9:46:49 PM PDT by jimfree (My17 y/o granddaughter continues to have more quality exec experience than an 8 year Obama.)
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To: jimfree

>Nobody is this humor impaired.

Scott Adams says about a 1/3 of the population doesn’t get humor. Personally I’m often slow to get jokes, but this one had me laughing right off.


48 posted on 08/29/2017 9:49:15 PM PDT by JohnyBoy (We should forgive communists, but not before they are hanged.)
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To: jimfree

If only you were right.....


49 posted on 08/29/2017 9:50:10 PM PDT by clintonh8r (AMERICA! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY SCREEN NAME OBSOLETE!)
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To: rey

50 posted on 08/29/2017 9:52:59 PM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Your Free Speech is Violence. My Violence is Free Speech.)
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To: dragnet2

“I was in the military, but not the Navy. For some reason, this doesn’t seem funny to me in the least.”

No, it isn’t funny, but given the sorry state of our Navy’s training on how to drive ships, it may not be far from the truth.


51 posted on 08/29/2017 9:54:32 PM PDT by vette6387
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To: ETL
Picture of the helm just came in.


52 posted on 08/29/2017 9:56:00 PM PDT by Karl Spooner
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To: rey
..."[satier]"

Since this is a joke on sailors shouldn't that be "[saltier]"?

Very funny though!

53 posted on 08/29/2017 9:56:07 PM PDT by mrsmith (Dumb sluts: Lifeblood of the Media, Backbone of the Democrat/RINO Party!)
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To: rey

**[satier]**

LOL!


54 posted on 08/29/2017 9:57:50 PM PDT by Salvation ("With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26)
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To: DoughtyOne

I disagree. My Navy needs shaking up badly. Ridicule is a good motivator to those who have professional pride, and it’s time that some old salts tell D.C. to ppound sand, the fleet has a lot of work to do to clean up the mess. Folks know what needs to be done. And it starts with not wasting time on all the small stuff that never needed doing in the first place.


55 posted on 08/29/2017 9:58:40 PM PDT by AndyJackson
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To: rey

The destroyer belonged to the Cajun Navy and Houston has already forgiven them.


56 posted on 08/29/2017 10:04:36 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: Lonely Bull

There you go again. Enabling those who should learn to read and think for themselves by telling them what to think.

The only way a person learns to think about what they read is to suffer the consequences of misreading it.

If we do it your way everyone gets a trophy and their noses wiped.

But you feel good doing that so I guess that’s all that matters.


57 posted on 08/29/2017 10:05:44 PM PDT by Rebelbase (Tyranny can hide within decorum.)
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To: DoughtyOne; dragnet2

Agree with you both. I find no humor in the tragedies of the Fitzgerald, McCain, and others recently. The loss of life, screwed up lives, embarrassment to our great navy, our great military, our reputation, etc. I took pride in my service, and still think of it that way.

Nope. Can’t find a chuckle in this.


58 posted on 08/29/2017 10:05:52 PM PDT by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists Call 'em what you will, they all have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: rey

“[satier]”

LOL! Sounds like a piece of furniture.


59 posted on 08/29/2017 10:09:24 PM PDT by Rebelbase (Tyranny can hide within decorum.)
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To: Rebelbase
Enabling those who should learn to read and think for themselves by telling them what to think.

There are other reasons for the site policy, as I've said before. I have yet to be convinced that unmarked satire is somehow "educational" or that this site should be part of that alleged mission.

60 posted on 08/29/2017 10:25:41 PM PDT by Lonely Bull ("When he is being rude or mean it drives people _away_ from his confession and _towards_ yours.")
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