Navy destroyer collides with building in downtown Houston [satire]

Duffleblog ^ | 29 Aug 2017

[rey]

HOUSTON — As if the city of Houston hasn’t seen enough tragedy due to catastrophic flooding from Hurricane Harvey, things took a turn for the worse today after a U.S. Navy ship collided with a building in the downtown area.

The ship was identified as an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer belonging to the Navy’s 7th Fleet.

It was unclear why the destroyer was not able to see the building and take evasive action, or why it was over 20 miles inland and trying to navigate through a major metropolitan area.

“I had climbed up on my roof due to dem risin’ flood waters, when I saw a big ship sailin’ down the street,” said Georgia Brown, a resident who witnessed the incident. “I says to myself ‘Oh Lawdy, someone’s done come to rescue us!’ and then it sails right past my house and smack straight into that yonder building.”

This marks the fifth collision incident this summer for destroyers from the Navy’s beleaguered 7th Fleet, following incidents involving the USS Fitzgerald, USS John S. McCain, and the USS Ted Kennedy.

The Navy declined to comment on the cause of the collision, citing an ongoing investigation, although it did say the captain had been promptly relieved of his command.

Despite reticence from the Navy, a senior defense official speculated the ship had likely veered off course from its patrol route in the South China Sea.

Navy officials say they are planning a number of PowerPoint trainings related to urban maritime navigation.

[clearcarbon]

Glad it wasn't it wasn't a submarine.



(sarc).

[Fiddlstix]

MEL BROOKS AND ANNE BANCROFT PERFORM SWEET GEORGIA BROWN

[House Atreides]

Satire, obviously. But if it weren’t, there be folks posting that the building intentionally rammed the destroyer.

[Rebelbase]

Funny stuff. Beware the humor impaired will land here demanding the mods put “satire” in the title.

[clintonh8r]

Nobody’s talking but the scuttlebutt is that McCain was rammed astern by USS Graham.

[ETL]

"Military satire website Duffel Blog posted an article titled "Navy destroyer collides with building in downtown Houston" which opened:

HOUSTON -- As if the city of Houston hasn't seen enough tragedy due to catastrophic flooding from Hurricane Harvey, things took a turn for the worse today after a U.S. Navy ship collided with a building in the downtown area.

The ship was identified as an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer belonging to the Navy's 7th Fleet.

It was unclear why the destroyer was not able to see the building and take evasive action, or why it was over 20 miles inland and trying to navigate through a major metropolitan area.

The story is clearly not true since the photo that went with the story is obviously photoshopped:

• The name of the ship is mirrored. It reads "Mustin" if you hold a mirror next to it. The USS Mustin is an actual Arleigh Burke-class destroyer.
• It looks like the ship was cropped out of this photo on Wikipedia, including the bird.
• The "reflection" of the ship in the water covers part of the trees.
• The skies are clear and it is not raining, so the cityscape was obviously not photographed today.

That, and the disclaimer of Duffel Blog reads:

We are in no way, shape, or form, a real news outlet. Everything on this website is satirical and the content of this site is a parody of a news organization. No composition should be regarded as truthful, and no reference of an individual, company, or military unit seeks to inflict malice or emotional harm.

All characters, groups, and military units appearing in these works are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or actual military units and companies is purely coincidental.

http://hoax-alert.leadstories.com/3468738-fake-news-navy-destroyer-did-not-collide-with-building-in-downtown-houston.html

[budj]

Dang; I laughed, hard.

But I felt guilty.

Keep sending your help to the souls in Houston.

[Vendome]

For the Navy to be right I guess it would need to be a plumb and level just to get square

[AndyJackson]

I says to myself ‘Oh Lawdy

Another insenstive article written by a white racist male, trying to insult a widely recognized English dialect just as legitimate as the home county lock-jaw spoken by the Queen and her ilk.

A little more diversity training and maybe the Navy wouldn't have these kinds of embarrassments.

[ConorMacNessa]

Heaven help us if any progeny are born of that union!

"I am an American fighting man. I serve in the forces guarding our country and our way of life.
I am prepared to give my life in their defense."

[ETL]

"It looks like the ship was cropped out of this photo on Wikipedia, including the bird [flying near the rear of the ship]."

[Rebelbase]

I don’t believe you. The article is real.

[AndyJackson]

Absolutely.

[AndyJackson]

Funny...

Spend some time inside the Beltway and you will discover that it is, sadly, deadly serious.

[ETL]

[clintonh8r]

They were on a search and recover mission. Something about strawberries missing from the wardroom....

[doorgunner69]

Wait, some FReeper will be along to post evidence the building targeted the ship and rammed it.

[ETL]

As obvious as it is, we do always get some who fall for stuff like this. Then, even worse, they pass it on to their friends and relatives, who then pass it on. E-mail inboxes are full of nonsense stories like this.

[ConservativeMind]

Is this “The Onion?” Really? Another “freak” accident??

[Oscar in Batangas]

<<>> ... after dragging bottom for 52 miles of I-45 and ripping up the HOV.